Archive for August, 2010

Ok, so you are thinking that dreaded thought “I think my daughter is pregnant”! What am I going to do?

Saturday, August 28th, 2010

It is no longer uncommon. Our nation has one of the highest incidences of teen pregnancy and the statistics are not getting any better, in fact, they are getting worse. Girls are now having sex as early as 8 and 9 years old! They watch MTV, commercials, general programming on prime time TV and believe that this is what real life is all about. Their entire self esteem is linked to sex. Now, what do we do about it…?

The United States has the highest rates of teenage pregnancy and births in the western industrialized world. Teen pregnancy costs the United States at least $7 billion annually. Keep reading for more interesting facts on teen pregnancy statistics.

The fact that just under 1/3 of all girls in the United States will get pregnant in their teenage years is a sobering thought. Obviously, teen pregnancy is a problem in the United States. And the following statistics back that up: 

  • Every year around 750,000 teenagers will get pregnant. 
  • Depending on the state, teenage birth rates are incredibly different. Nevada has the highest rate: 113 per 1000 and North Dakota the lowest 42 per 1000. 
  • Unmarried teenagers having children account for 24 percent of all unmarried expectant mothers. 
  • More than 2/3 of all teenagers who have a baby will not graduate from high school. 
  • Billions of dollars are spent taking care of teenage mothers and their children and they are more likely to be in the poverty bracket. On the flip side, millions of dollars are spent in prevention programs.

Well if your child is not pregnant there are a lot of ways to intervene now and make this tragedy less likely, however if she is…you have found the right place at the right time.

There a number of reasons a young girl may find the concept of being a parent alluring. Perhaps she is looking for attention, needs unconditional love she isn’t getting from her family or boyfriend or perhaps she is just searching for some self worth. Regardless of the issues, another one is on the way, and it is a lot bigger than the previous ones…..

But now, this isn’t just your daughter or son’s problem, it is yours as well. Not to mention the unborn child’s.

So how do we handle this delicate situation? The questions are endless and choices are few. I have been where you are, whether you are a teen parent or a parent of a child who is expecting without the lively hood or resources to be a new parent, I get it, I understand.

  • Should I tell my son/daughter what I want them to do regarding the choices?
  • How is my daughter going to get through a pregnancy? She is just a baby herself!
  • What if there are complications? Is she too young to carry full term?
  • Will her health insurance cover the cost of termination/pre-natal care?
  • What about her education? Can she finish school pregnant?
  • What will our friends and family think?
  • Should we consider adoption? Could we live with that?
  • Where will she live, she can barely get up in the morning for class, how will she take care of a baby?
  • How are we going to pay for this? Diapers, formula, baby furniture, a nursery, childcare, education, pre-school, clothes, healthcare.
  • What if there are health issues?
  • What about the father and his family? Will they participate? Do we want them to?
  • We don’t know who the father is! What do we do? How do we go about the legal issues?
  • Have drugs/alcohol been involved during pregnancy?
  • How will she continue to go to school or work?
  • Is it my responsibility to step up and be the caretaker/financial assistance?
  • I didn’t expect to have to do this at this time in my life. Starting over?

The list goes on and on…

There are many things to consider when you yourself become pregnant even in the best circumstances, but when your own child is facing such a huge life change it will affect all of you. You will need help and guidance from a source that is not emotionally charged from the situation. That is where I come in. I am able to see the situation, find solutions and put things into perspective. YOU will have to deal with the situation; YOU must be able to be calm and see the options and make the right choices for your child as well as the grandchild on the way.  This is not easy. Don’t forget we are dedicated to leaving a Legacy 4 Kids- one of Love, Honor, Courage and Grace. I can help you do this even during this very painful time.

If you are looking for help and need resources to help you and your family get through this trying time, contact me today for a FREE 30 minute evaluation regarding both you the parents and your teen and start on the path to peace and grace during this most difficult time.

Acceptance is key. Once you are able to do this, the tasks are clear and solutions will be visible.

Cook together, eat together, talk together, and make mealtime a family time!

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

You are the most important influence on your child and it is up to you to help your children develop healthy eating habits for life. If you offer a variety of foods, you will help children get the nutrients they need from every food group and they will be more likely to try new foods and to like more foods. Children who have developed a taste for many types of foods enable you to be more creative in planning family meals. It can be a win-win situation- and here is how to get started.

Follow these simple tips:

It is easier to plan family meals when everyone eats the same foods. Stop making different meals for each child- Offer everyone the same foods you eat.

  1. Let your child see that you like to munch on raw vegetables. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole grains with meals and during snack time- Show by example.
  2. Teach your children about food and nutrition by talking about where fruits, vegetables and grains come from. Let your children make healthy choices- Go grocery shopping together.
  3. Encourage your child to invent new snacks. Avoid purchasing processed foods when you can make your own trail mixes from dry whole-grain, low-sugar cereal and dried fruit- Get creative and try new things.
  4. Be attentive to your child by listening and showing affection- Do not reward kids with candy and treats.
  5. Make dinner time a time for family and focus on each other. Talk about fun and happy things at mealtime- Turn off TV and phone during meals.
  6. Try new foods and serve something you know your child likes with the meal. Avoid lecturing or forcing you child to eat- Be a good food role model.

 

Change you mindset, change your kids future!

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

If you are struggling to find a way to raise your child in this imperfect world, you are not alone. So many of us are dancing in the dark. Our kids listen to music and watch TV that is peppered with violence, bad attitudes, anger, and hate. Then we wonder why our kids lash out at us or anyone around them. They act out in ways we don’t understand.

This is what they are taught. This is what they know. Kids are eating terrible food riddled with preservatives, dyes, toxins with no nutritional value. They then spend their days without any true compass to guide them because we the parents are at work. We believe we are doing what we can to insure a bright future, but are we?

All of this must change or the leaders of our future will be very angry and full of toxic waste! Now just take a moment to think about it… Frightening isn’t it.

It is time we take a stand. Make a difference and become accountable to our kids! What did you do last night with your family? The American family spends more time apart than ever today. We rush here and there, work late, and eat at different times. Watch TV nightly. Watch the NEWS (one of the most violent and hateful programming).

We are teaching our kids to live in the same rat race we do. Maybe we as adults and mentors need to change our mindsets so then our children will expect more, be able to contribute more. They believe what they hear. Kids spend a great deal of time at a very young age looking at life through our eyes. Maybe we need to take a look at the world through our kid’s eyes. What do they see, hear, taste and smell?

What are you going to do to make the world a kinder place?

You may be wondering where all this TRASH came from, anyway…

The creepy self-sabotaging beliefs and fears that sabotage you are the same ones that will inevitably sabotage our kids from reaching success come from a variety of different places:

  1. Hand-me-down beliefs from parents
  2. What we witnessed as a child
  3. Widely-held social or cultural beliefs
  4. Experiences gone wrong
  5. Beliefs and small-thinking that our friends and acquaintances hold as ‘truth’
  6. The media (movies, the news, TV, magazines, etc.)

This stuff is all around you and, I hate to say it, it’s really difficult to escape. Especially as a child, when we form most of our ideas around life.

Most people don’t even KNOW all this stuff is holding them back (even you). You may just think something’s wrong with you.

The thing is, if you knew how EASY it is to clear out those cobwebs and eliminate old thought processes and junk that’s holding you back from what’s rightfully yours, you’d be shocked.

Here’s how it works, in a very simplistic way:

Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → RESULTS

Every thought you have creates a feeling within you that dictates each of your actions. Then, each action creates a particular result in your life. So, every limiting thought, or even just one, creates a negative feeling, which prevents you from taking action on an opportunity, which then dictates your results.

It’s depressing! Unless, you know what to do to change it all, and at the same time, create a beautiful life, the one you’ve always dreamed about for you and your kids.

How?

I’ll give you a BIG HINT here: It’s not about “The Secret” or simply the “Law of Attraction.” It’s about all the emotional baggage, the deep wounds you still carry around, and all the unresolved resentments and feelings that hold you back.

That’s what’s stopping you? Take a look around. You have options and opportunities to make a difference.

If you need more help, Visit my dear friend Fabienne, this is her specialty! Just click HERE to find out more!

The children were asked, ‘What does Love Mean?’ Here are their answers …

Friday, August 20th, 2010

We have all got quite a lot to be thankful for when we start to really think about it haven’t we? Perhaps some of the following questions, which were collected by a group of professionals working with children, might help to remind us to count our blessings.

The children were asked, ‘What does Love Mean?’ Here are their answers …

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t

bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my

grandfather does it for her all the time, even when

his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”

Rebecca – age 8

_____

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name

is different. You just know that your name is safe in

their mouth.”

Billy – age 4

_____

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts

on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each

other.”

Karl – age 5

_____

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody

most of your French fries without making them give

you any of theirs.”

Chrissy – age 6

_____

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”

Terri – age 4

_____

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and

she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make

sure the taste is OK.”

Danny – age 7

_____

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you

get tired of kissing, you still want to be together

and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.

They look gross when they kiss”

Emily – age 8

_____

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if

you stop opening presents and listen.”

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

_____

“If you want to learn to love better, you should

start with a friend who you hate,”

Nikka – age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

_____

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt,

then he wears it everyday.”

Noelle – age 7

_____

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old

man who are still friends even after they know each

other so well.”

Tommy – age 6

_____

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was

scared. I looked at all the people watching me and

saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one

doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”

Cindy – age 8

_____

“My mommy loves me more than anybody You don’t see

anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.”

Clare – age 6

_____

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of

chicken.”

Elaine-age 5

_____

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and

still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.”

Chris – age 7

_____

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after

you left him alone all day.”

Mary Ann – age 4

_____

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives

me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new

ones.”

Lauren – age 4

_____

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and

down and little stars come out of you.”

Karen – age 7

(what an image)

_____

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she

doesn’t think it’s gross.”

Mark – age 6

_____

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you

mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a

lot. People forget.”

Jessica – age 8

_____
Well there you go – some great quotations for you to think about. I bet you have a lot to be grateful for in your life when you really begin to think about it don’t you?

What is your Personal Watermark?

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

What will be your legacy be? Now, I don’t mean just your financial contribution …What I mean is what will your kids, grandkids and so-on remember you for? What did you do to make a difference in this world? Their world. We know that at this time is very different than our parents lived and VERY different than the enviornment our Grandparents lived in…Our kids will be saying the same thing to their kids I am sure. What can we do to leave a lasting impression and a great watermark on our family as our own legacy? The way I see it, our personal watermark is our legacy. Not everybody can leave a billion dollars to our kids and their offspring like Bill Gates or , but we can leave a great amount of knowledge, values and the ability to make a difference in this ever changing world, one that is changing at warp speed may I add…

It is time to build a foundation again, one that our family, our kids and their kids and so on can live by. Perhaps this is the code…the family code. The code that gives our kids a place to belong, instead of someplace else. For instance, a gang. This is why kids join gangs- to belong…to have direction! The family unit has gone to hell in this country. Kids are looking for direction and have absolutely none at home. Think about it. For years the family demanded their offspring to continue their “brand” or their Personal Watermark. Now, kids are making it up as they go along…with little or no direction, so now they are looking for somebody to give it to them. This means gangs, or organizations that validate what they know, which is NOTHING… It is steeped in desperation.

It is time for us to step up and stop leaving our responsibilities to somebody else. Stop allowing our kids to be lost, without direction or a Personal Watermark. We as individuals used be proud of our heritage…now our kids don’t even know what that means….

It is true, many of us will buck our family values and insist we know better at about the age of 14, however, if we as parents and adults give our kids the foundation and direction (our family or personal watermark) they will inevitably return to it after they go out and flail for a period of time. This is nature.
It is proven that the first 3 years is the most important in a child’s life for the legacy (Personal Watermark) imprint…We all need guidance and influence. What are you doing to influence the most important people in your life?

Your purpose dictates your influence on others as well as your own life. Your Personal Watermark is your legacy. How will you develop your Personal Watermark? What will you kids say about you? What will they feel about themselves?

THE MYTH OF ENTITLEMENT

Monday, August 16th, 2010

One of the biggest myths in our culture today is that we are led to believe we are entitled to a great life.  Somehow, somewhere, someone else is responsible for filling our lives with happiness, our dream career, a wonderful family, and happy personal relationships… simply because we exist.  But the truth is that only one person is responsible for the quality of the life you live.  That person is you.

If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for absolutely everything that you experience in your life. This includes your achievements and failures, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health, your finances, your feelings, your kids—absolutely everything!

This can be hard to accept for most of us.  In fact, most of us have been conditioned to blame something other than ourselves for the parts of our life that doesn’t work. We blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, the media, our coworkers, our clients, our spouse, the weather, the economy, our astrological chart, our lack of money. We never want to look at where the real problem is—ourselves.  Next time you are out in public, listen to people, your friends, your family, yourself…you will be amazed at how much blaming is going on. It’s disgusting.

To achieve any measure of success in life—to achieve those things that are most important to you—you must assume 100% responsibility for your life. Nothing less will do.  You cannot move forward in your life and be successful if you are blaming others for your life.  You can’t be successful and make excuses at the same time…it’s impossible!  Change your life, change the outcome!  Live your life now with Love, Honor, Courage and Grace. Be the change! Show others how it is done! Make a difference in a child’s world.

Dr. Blaise approves, do you

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

Dr. Blaise Ryan, the chief child behavioral researcher at Child Brain Health Research Institute says: “I recommend this program to parents that want a happier and more cooperative child.” 

If you have ever felt frustrated that your child doesn’t listen to you, and you wish you knew how to get your child to be more cooperative and behave better, then read this groundbreaking guide, make sure you get it now and read it very carefully… 

It has transformed worked for countless families to turn mis-behavior into great behavior. 

Click here to get it: The Happy Child Guide  

 

This program is parent-tested and doctor-approved. Try it. You have nothing to lose but those annoying behaviors. You know the ones: 

-Yelling
-Whining
-Defiance
-Arguing 

Help end these issues with methods that work. 

Now you can get some helpful tips get your child to behave better. 

Click on this link to read how it works: 

Go to: The Happy Child Guide

To your family!

Kelly Marquet-Bodio

If you were told you only had a few months to live, how would your kids remember you?

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

I know this may spark an issue with a few of you out there, but I continue to see this over and over in my business, Working Moms and lost kids. I strongly feel the American family is broken. We have more kids in trouble at ridiculously early ages. Screaming for attention? Screaming to be heard? Pregnant at 12, in jail for murder at 8? Come on people, there is a reason here! It is US! OUR FAULT! They have no direction. Families need at least two incomes to survive. Kids are left to wander streets or watch bad TV and music videos and this becomes their compass.

It is time we all realize the ADD, ADHD, emotional problems, anger issues can all be reduced if we just go back and make the decision to raise our own kids. Be home. Give structure. Give discipline. Cook dinner. Eat together. Discuss dreams, values and goals together. Sounds a bit like the 50’s again doesn’t  it?

I am a career consultant. I work with a lot of women that have made the decision to have kids and then need to go back to work ASAP to survive. Because of this, our kids are suffering. In the end, our society will pay a price that was unimaginable just a few years ago.

Consider this; your leaders in a few short years are the kids that have grown up and been raised by MTV, Vampire movies, Violent video games and terror. They have been eating fast food, a majority of them are overweight, suffer from ADD, ADHD, anger issues and emotional problems due to lack of self esteem and bad diets. 

Come on ladies: If you are going to get pregnant, and give birth to a tiny little person, you had better make the commitment to honor them and raise them. Because if you screw that up, it will follow you forever! I know. I worked and was a single mom for a good portion of my daughter’s young life. She is 25 years old today and has no direction. I spent most of my time struggling and trying to be the best young talent executive instead of the best Mommy. Now, at 43 years old, I see the damage my chaos caused. I see the repercussions every day in my daughter’s life. Her inability to reason and her entitlement issues are a constant concern.

So, how do we fix it?

Ages 0-3.  This is a vital time for Mom to be home. If you must work outside of the home, do it after the child is 3 years of age. Then, be sure to have a structure that gives your child safety and consistency. Be predictable to your kids. Most importantly, be accountable. Don’t disappear!

There are a number of ways for a working Mom or Parent to work and still be home and available to her kids. I work with a few great folks that have great ideas and I am sure that your kids will benefit. Here is one, Carrie Wilkerson, “The Barefoot Executive,” and President of the Association of Work at Home Women, Carrie and her network of experts have quickly become the definitive resource for helping others achieve extra income and career goals while working from home.  Currently a mentor/coach/advisor to over 100,000 men and women as the Barefoot Executive through videos, podcasts, masterminding, mentoring and live speaking. Not only a business expert, but an expert IN Business, Carrie’s work-at-home methods have inspired thousands and have earned many awards, online and off.

Now I know this is not the 50’s. And I know I have struck a chord with a few of you. I also know we live in a world that is demanding change. We must carve a new road ASAP. The one we are on is going to lead us to our demise. We can no longer afford to flail, or rely on big companies and employers. This is no longer our security. It is time to build our lives and our futures ourselves.  Create a future for our kids we can be proud of. Leave them a legacy and memories that don’t stop at X Box!

If you were told you only had a few months to live, how would your kids remember you?