What if you think your daughter’s pregnant? This kind of situation can cause so much heartbreak and dislocation for both the daughter and mother. Most daughters don’t want to talk about it and they tend to keep the whole thing a secret.
Other daughters start looking for advice and support outside of the family. This can cause a lot of hardship and a fundamental lack of communication once the family finds out. The most important thing that you could do for your pregnant daughter is to be available to her and let her know that you ‘ll always be by her side, regardless of what happens.
If you realize that your daughter is pregnant, its best if you open lines of communication with her by being open and empathic with her predicament. Although this may be difficult for some mothers to bring about, it isn’t impossible. Here are some tips that mothers could use to open lines of communication with your daughter:
1. Don’t criticize your daughter for becoming pregnant. Instead, be level-headed about the whole thing. This will draw your daughter closer to you and will open lines of communication.
2. Refrain from being negative or judgmental. Girls who get pregnant don’t need a lecture from their mother. Instead, such girls need unconditional love. They’re probably just as scared and unsure of what is going to happen as anyone else.
3. Never make your daughter feel as if you’ll abandon her. It is important for your daughter to feel that you will be there for her in every way possible.
4. Let your daughter make her own decisions about what she’ll do, with some occasional advice. Try not to be overbearing or condescending.
5. Love your daughter unconditionally. And show that love through your actions and attitudes as often as possible. Be positive instead of negative in your attitudes and mannerisms towards her.
6. Be a friend to your pregnant daughter. Always be there to listen and to offer a helping hand. This will draw you closer in this time of need and for the future as well.
7. Spend a lot of quality time with your daughter. Perhaps you could go to the movies or shopping with your daughter. Or you could go out and have lunch with your daughter.
8. Be empathic with your daughter at all times. Imagine what it would be like to be a young pregnant teen, trying to break the news to your mother. Try and imagine the feelings that you would experience.
9. Reassure your daughter that she is loved constantly. Just keep reiterating that mistakes do happen and this situation will rectify itself in time.
10. Tell your daughter that you will help her every step of the way, regardless of what she decides and what happens. This will help your daughter feel less alone and less desperate.
Following these tips will help you, as a mother, to come to terms with your daughter’s pregnancy. If anything, the experience will bring you two much closer together, something that you’ll need later on.
Irene S. Roth is a freelance writer for kids and teens. She is also in the process of creating a Newsletter for girls ages 12 to 16, along with a journalling prompt for either private reflections or to dialogue with other girls about similar issues. Irene Roth specializes in writing about social and relationship issues for young girls and adolescents.
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