Archive for October, 2010

Step Up Women's Network

Friday, October 29th, 2010

Please vote before October 31, 2010. This video will explain why.

Smart Women Institute

Thursday, October 28th, 2010

I would like to introduce you to my friend and colleage Sheri McConnell. If you are looking to find a way to make money, create a career to serve both you and your family and still be able to be a fabulous Mommy, look no further. Check her out in this video. I am so darn proud of her! Thank you Sheri for sharing your shine!

Will I be Pretty?

Thursday, October 28th, 2010

A question many of us ask ourselves and so many of our daughter’s have asked us the same question. What will you tell her?

"It Get's Better"

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

It is about being a leader for Kids. Creating a Legacy4Kids we can all be proud of as human beings. We are all one. One energy and one nation. If you know a bully, extend him or her the gift of tolerance and understanding. Point out the wrong and try your best to creat a right!  If you are being bullied, remember it will indeed get better. You are not alone. You are special, you are important to this world.

We are all gifts to this world. Remember what you do today you will remember and be remembered for tomorrow. Lead by example with Love, Honor, Courage and Grace. We owe this lesson to all of our kids, regardless whether they are gay, straight, tall, fat, odd or just different. This is what makes us human. Our differences are what make us so special. Please teach your kids to live their lives with the attributes of love, honor, courage and grace. Remember, to create a Legacy 4  Kids!  It is our duty as adults or parents and it is our obligation and  blessing to create a world we are proud of to raise our children in. Don’t tollerate a bully, make a change in their life. Demand they change and contribute to this life they are sharing with all of us in a positive way.

Children See, Children Do -NEWS

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

A Shelter for Pregnant Teens

Friday, October 8th, 2010

Many pregnant teens find themselves homeless or living in dangerous situations, and for some of these teens a shelter for pregnant teens may be able to provide a safe environment and support as they strive to care for themselves and their babies.

Shelters for pregnant teens offer a place to live when teens are pregnant and find themselves homeless, in a dangerous environment, or in need of extra support and care. In addition to food and a place to live, pregnant teen shelters may offer a variety of services:

  • Medical care
  • Mental and emotional health counseling
  • Substance abuse counseling
  • Religious instruction
  • Supervision by a trained and licensed staff
  • Educational help
  • Work and life skills training
  • Parenting skills classes
  • Adoption placement or counseling
  • Education on avoiding another pregnancy during the teen years
  • Help in locating housing after leaving the shelter
  • Classes for the baby’s father on life and parenting skills

Not all shelters offer all of these services, but most offer some. Most pregnant teen shelters are run by city or state governments or by non-profit groups, especially religious organizations. The services they are able to offer, as well as the rules for living at the shelter and the criteria for admission vary by shelter.

The living situation at teen shelters is usually somewhat communal. Pregnant teen shelters may offer girls their own room or require them to share. They usually have shared spaces for eating and for activities, which gives pregnant teens a chance to make friends with others who understand their situation. The staff members usually function as surrogate parents and counselors for the girls, and may be single moms themselves.

The rules at most shelters provide a lot of structure. Some shelters allow girls to leave the facility during their stay while others require them to remain on the grounds. Girls may be required to follow strict health rules, though they may have to get their own medical care. This also applies to schooling. Religious homes or shelters usually require girls to attend services. Shelters may keep their location a secret to protect pregnant teens who may be in danger from family members or the baby’s father.

The level of help provided by shelters depends on the focus and the resources of the shelter. Some shelters can only offer help while a girl is pregnant, while others provide continuing shelter or support for up to the first two years of the baby’s life, including ongoing counseling and education or child care.

Girls who seek pregnant teen shelters may come from a variety of backgrounds. Many of the teens who use shelters have a history of early sexual activity, and often of sexual abuse. They are almost always single. Many come from the foster care program or from low income families who cannot not or will not support them during their pregnancies. Most keep their babies rather than put them up for adoption.

Teens who go to a pregnant teen shelter may have better outcomes than those who don’t thanks to the shelter’s counseling, health, and education programs, and removing girls from dangerous situations.

Homes and shelters for pregnant teens used to be common, but there are now fewer of them, with perhaps only a couple in each state. With budget cuts, many state programs have been cut back even more. This means that teens who need a shelter may not have many options about which one they go to, and it may be hard to get in to a shelter.

Teens who need a shelter while they are pregnant can talk to a doctor, counselor, social worker, or religious leader to find out about pregnant teen shelters in their area. They can also search in the phone book for shelters or for teen help hotlines. Girls who need special help, like protection from someone who wants to hurt them, may be able to get help with transportation to a particular shelter by talking to a doctor, police officer, or social worker.

Sources:

Tracey Dewart and Donna Zaengle, Lamaze International’s Journal of Perinatal Education, “The Door’s Perinatal Program for Pregnant and Parenting Teens” [online]
Michael D. Clark, Cincinnati Enquirer, “Home offers refuge for pregnant teens” [online]
Edward J. Saunders, Children Today, “Residential program services pregnant teens and young mothers in Iowa – Adolescent Pregnancy Program of Central Iowa” [online]
Tovia Smith, NPR, “For Teen Moms, Just a Start” [online]

Does Hollywood Contribute to Teen Pregnancy?

Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

Is everyone entitled to be a parent?

Tuesday, October 5th, 2010

I was a teen parent myself. I was pregnant at 17 and I gave birth to my daughter 3 weeks after becoming an “adult” at eighteen. I married her father, I was lucky. I personally had a tremendous amount of support from his parents as well as my own mother. My little girl did not suffer from a lack of love or support. I have many to thank for this. I could not have done it on my own. However, not every teen parent is so lucky, and by all means, not every child born to a teen parent as privileged as my daughter was growing up. My mother and father-in- law stepped in big time. It wasn’t easy for me as a young woman to allow for their opinions or their rules at times. However, I knew it was in my daughter’s best interest. I knew it was right for her.  

I made mistakes, but the biggest one is how little time I actually spent with my little girl when she was a toddler. I was working, I was busy…blah, blah, blah…none of it really matters, what she needed was her mom. When I look back now especially after raising my granddaughter today, I try to remember the ‘ first times’ of my daughters. I didn’t get to see so many of them. My Mother-in-law did. I was so stressed about being appreciated at work, money and other nonsense that I didn’t understand how very important it is to be appreciated at home.

The repercussions show themselves today. It is too late to fix them. Now my daughter and I must move forward and accept the mistakes and honor each other from today forward. Kids need their parents to be both physically and emotionally present. If this is something you are unable to accomplish, think twice before getting pregnant or choosing to raise a child without recourses. There are many families out there desperate for a child to love and they have the recourses to contribute to their upbringing.  Consider the child, their loneliness and sense of where they fit in this world if you choose to raise a child without the nessessary funds and time to contribute to him/her. Family is a BIG word. It has real meaning. A family is not just the birthparents, but the individuals that care and love the child each and every moment of every day. It isn’t all about money. It is about contributing to the daily mentoring and raising of a little person. Including the scrapes, bruises AND the successes and cheers.

I see a lot of families struggling with the effects of unplanned pregnancies. What we must remember, is how will the baby make out? It is no longer us as the Parents that matter now. It is the unborn child. Will we be able to give this little one everything he/she deserves? This baby did not ask to be brought into a difficult situation.

Children need a lot of ‘things’, but what they need most is love, consistency and security. Many of our children today are living in “survival mode”. They live hand to mouth and rely on the school system for “meals”, which many of us know lack a great deal in themselves. Kids are not sure of tomorrow. They don’t know if they will have a home to go to at the end of every day. They consistently see struggle and fear in their parent’s eyes.

Parents spend so much time working, trying to find work, paying bills, looking for ways to keep lights on and food on the table, which the actual raising of their kids is on the back burner. This is leading to a legacy of hell for our children. They learn life lessons from TV, video games, MTV, the streets and other unfortunate kids. Their idea of exercise is Xbox. Kids are learning early that life is a struggle. Their mindset is on negativity and fear at such a young age, they don’t understand what it means to wake up peaceful and be grateful for the upcoming day, looking for ways to contribute to our society and their own self worth.

If we as parents keep allowing for this to happen, our future for our kids and ourselves is bleak. How would you like your future leaders to have had TeenMom and Lindsey Lohan as role models? (and they are on the upside). It is up to us. We must change our way of thinking in order to make a difference for our kids.

Before the American family became so fragmented our children had a sense of place. They knew what was expected of them. They understood right from wrong. It is time we get back to that.  We must start putting our children first.

Our mindset must change from that of lack, frustration and blame to a mindset of love, honor, courage and grace. We must realize that in order to make a change in our lives, we must be the change.

The time has come for all of us to step up and be the change we expect in everybody else. No more blame, no more negativity or finger pointing. Change yourself, your outlook, and your expectations.

Live in excellence, and let’s teach our children to expect nothing less.