Archive for May, 2011

THE BENEFITS OF COACHING OR COUNSELING FOR A PREGNANT TEEN

Monday, May 30th, 2011

Working Together

It helps to have an objective person guide you and your family through your decision-making process. Sometimes, when we have difficult choices to make, we’d like to avoid the subject. Many times it takes another person to force us to look at the important issues.

Here at Legacy 4 Kids we are specially trained to assist you in making arrangements for your best possible care and to help you prepare for your future. We are unbiased and we do not have an agenda.

At Legacy 4 Kids you will find people who care about your well-being and that of your baby. We are called counselors, coaches, mentors or advocates. Your chats with one of us will provide a way for you to talk through solutions. Out of care and concern, we will give you the opportunity to take a look at your situation and the changes you want to make for a happier future. A mentor or coach can also help you gauge your readiness for parenting. She can give you insight, provide a list of helpful resources and lend you moral support. Just as important, she can serve as a mediator between you and your parents, or between you and your baby’s father.

Depending on your needs, assistance can be provided for obtaining financial aid, medical care, prenatal and childbirth education and — if necessary — housing, maternity clothes and transportation.

It is also advisable that your parents are included in or get counseling as well. There are many excellent reasons why they should talk with an objective professional. A counselor can help to resolve negative feelings like guilt, anger, denial and frustration. She can also help them to be honest with you in terms of what you can and cannot expect from them.

Most parents are too close to the problem to be objective. Counseling can provide your mother and father with the tools to “back off” and allow you to come to your own decision. A trained professional could steer them toward letting go of some of the responsibility. She could assist your parents toward being alert to your needs, yet also help establish the fact that they are not responsible for the choice you make concerning the baby.

It may be hard for your parents to cope with their daughter’s growing up so quickly. If your mom has protected and sheltered you all her life, it’s going to be pretty hard for her to suddenly take off on a shopping trip with you to buy maternity clothes. But counseling can help her and your father work through the upset, confused feelings they may be experiencing.

If you or your parents would like to consider working with Legacy 4 Kids, please simply fill out the form on the about us page and and you can book an FREE no cost PRIVATE consultation. This is an offer to both you and your parents if you feel you would like them to be involved.

DR. PHIL: "A Teen's Pregnancy"

Sunday, May 29th, 2011

The Sex Talk, At What Age Do We Bring It Up?

Saturday, May 28th, 2011

How fast would it be before parents started talking to their children about sex and how babies are made if it was a law that they as parents would be the responsible party to the newborn infants until their child completed their education?

How many  parents would deny their kids sex ed in school due to religious beliefs if this became law?

What if? Just a thought…

At what age do you think it is appropriate to explain where babies come from? Let us know your thoughts.

This FREE teleclass is for you if…

Friday, May 20th, 2011
  • You are a parent or mentor to a young woman whom you know is pregnant and you have no idea what your next step should be.
  • 

  • If you are a grandparent that is considering the task of raising your grandchild because your child is too young or unable to take the responsibility.
  • You are having a difficult time communicating your hopes and fears to your family after learning of an unplanned pregnancy.

When your daughter tells you She’s Expecting

She’s pregnant. WHAT NOW? What did we do wrong?

It is not a conversation we look forward to or embrace when it happens.

In this FREE teleclass you will learn the 5 step approach to creating a powerful partnership with your teen.

She said it, “I’m pregnant.” Now What do I do or say?

When your daughter first breaks the news to you, you may feel shock, disappointment, despair, embarrassment. You may think, “Her life is shattered. Our lives are ruined. All of her (and our!) hopes, dreams and plans are over with.”
It’s certainly isn’t good news, but it also is not the end of the world. Here we discuss the next steps for you as a parent or mentor to get you through this difficult moment in time.

1. Learn how to Step into her shoes and understand her fears

Remember, she is scared and she is the child here for now.

  • Feeling like she has lost your love and confidence.
  • Knowing she has disappointed you.
  • Feeling alone and needing support.
  • Wondering what her options are.
  • Facing a future she hadn’t planned.

Learn how to open up lines of communication so you both are able to speak about your hopes and fears freely without additional friction.

2. How to step up at a time you feel you have been kicked in the gut.

Learn how to be an asset to your daughter and still maintain the child parent relationship.

  • Reassuring her of your unconditional love and concern.
  • Affirming your confidence in her.
  • Trusting that life is not over, just simply changed.

Learn how to be an asset and a confidant to your child. She is facing a great deal of uncertainty, but so are you. Once you learn how to give her guidance without fear it will be so much easier for the entire family to work together.

3. Simply say it, learn to speak up for yourself as a parent without allowing negativity to creep into the relationship.

She can’t read your mind. You need to speak the words:
Learn what to say and how to say it without causing distress and mistrust and mean it.

  • “I still love you. No matter what.”
  • “I’m here for you and will help you in whatever way I can.”
  • “You do have options.” (marriage, adoption, single-parenting, evening college courses, etc.)
  • “Some people will look down on you. Many more will extend their compassion.”
  • “You are ultimately accountable to your child, not other people.”
  • “You have a whole lifetime ahead of you. This one mistake doesn’t need to destroy your bright future.”
  • “We can get our family help and guidence through this challenging time.”

4. A comfortable environment, making your home a safe place for all of you.

Learn how to create a non-threatening atmosphere by:

  • Being willing to listen as she talks about her feelings.
  • Giving advice only when asked.
  • Enabling her to make rational, thoughtful decisions.
  • Respecting her privacy. (Allow her to ponder secret thoughts.)
  • Respecting her feelings about the baby’s father (whether the relationship continues or is terminated).
  • Guiding the baby’s father into responsible participation or not.

5. Family matters and there are a whole bunch more now to deal with.

Lighten your daughter’s burden by offering to tell close family members about her pregnancy. They need to know because:

  • It gives family an opportunity to express their genuine concern.
  • Siblings, because they are closer in age, may offer her unique sympathy.
  • They may have suggestions you haven’t thought of.
  • You can unite as a family to be a support for her.
  • Learning to deal with and communicate with additional family: the father’s parents and his siblings.

After sharing the news, remember:

  • To respect one another’s opinions.
  • You are not obligated to act on every suggestion made by others.
  • Family members may strongly disagree on some decisions.
  • Ultimately, it’s your daughter and the life inside of her who are affected by the decisions made by your family.

Don’t deny it- There are so many more issues you will have to fact in the coming months. This is just the beginning. Here are just a few of the concerns that you and your family will be faced with in a very short time.

Medical
Education
Adoption
Custody
Housing
Financial
Legal
Career
Life Purpose Development
Meeting the Father’s Family

You can best help your daughter when you are strengthened and healthy. We are here to help.
We look forward to “meeting” you at the Teleclass!  Click here to register!

Warmly,
Kelly Marquet-Bodio
Founder, Legacy 4 Kids

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Thursday, May 19th, 2011

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
 

1.  She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 
2.  Mostly to clean the house. 
3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born. 

How did God make mothers?
 
1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 
2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 
3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts. 

What ingredients are mothers made of?
 
1.  God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 
2.  They had to get their start from men’s bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think. 

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
 
1.  We’re related. 
2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me. 

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
 
1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 
2.  I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 
3.  They say she used to be nice. 

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
 
1.  His last name. 
2.  She had to know his background.  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer? 
3.  Does he make at least $800 a year?  Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 

Why did your mom marry your dad?
 
1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot 
2.  She got too old to do anything else with him. 
3.  My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on. 

Who’s the boss at your house?
 
1.  Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball. 
2.  Mom.  You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the stuff under the bed. 
3.  I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. 

What’s the difference between moms and dads?
 
1.  Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 
2.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 
3.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends. 
4.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 

What does your mom do in her spare time?
 
1.  Mothers don’t do spare time. 
2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
 
1.  On the inside she’s already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 
2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.  I’d diet, maybe blue. 

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
 
1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I’d get rid of that. 
2.  I’d make my mom smarter.  Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me. 
3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

FREE Teleclass on June 8, 2011 – Parenting Your Pregnant Teen

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

A 5 Step approach to creating Powerful Partnerships: Parents and Pregnant teens working together to create a lasting legacy.This class is perfect for parents of pregnant teens or parents concerned their teen might be at risk for an unplanned pregnancy.

There are many resources available to pregnant teens, but very few available to help the parents who are living through this very trying time. On this call you will have the opportunity to learn about the resources available to you as concerned parent  and where to find them.

In addition, what you can do as a  parent to open up the lines of communication with your teen. What the steps are to moving forward once you have accepted the fact that there is a new leaf about to unfold in your household.

And answers to some of your big questions, like how you fit in and what your options are as a  parent and possible grandparent.

To sign up for the FREE teleclass, click here to register. The teleclass is scheduled for June 8, 2011 at 11:00am PST.

The Wonders of Nature by Karen Deerwester, ED.S.

Friday, May 6th, 2011

Spring

-a note for all Mommies

In a world of paved parking lots and rubberized playground surfaces, young children are growing up deprived of a personal connection to nature. More children are climbing on indoor jungle gyms than on giant old trees. The climbing remains the same but have you ever tried to hug a jungle gym? The magic is lost. Children need nature.

They need to run in wide open spaces and take comfort in cozy leafy nooks. They need to tell their secrets to slow moving snails and count bucketfuls of shells. Nature is exactly the right size for little growing people, from entire worlds hidden under rocks to grand skies that invite flights of imagination.

Weekly strolls through a Cypress preserve mean more to your child than a once-a-year-visit to Butterfly World, unless of course your child comes home to discover his own backyard butterflies and caterpillars. Memories are made when your child hears, sees, smells, and touches very specific pieces of nature. Autumn leaves are beautiful but autumn is real when you hear the leaves crunch as you walk, slip on wet leaves after a cold rain, rake leaves on a windy day, and bury your brother under a pile of leaves.

Here are a few ideas of how young children experience the wonders of nature in South Florida neighborhoods. As you read these, try to imagine what pleases your child and captures her curiosity. Awaken your senses to the opportunities that are right in front of you every day.

Bugs and Butterflies

Oh, to live in the land of lizards! Outdoors is a paradise of bugs and small crawly creatures. Adults may need to get control of their squeamishness but the young naturalists are drawn to the dirt eaters and the slime trailers of the tropics. Pull out the magnifying glasses and study the underbellies of leg wiggling buggies. Study the ant hills (yes, watch out for the fire ants). Catch a few lizards. And put out a snack of cucumbers and lettuce for the snails.

Flowers and Trees

Flowers and trees are so easy to take for granted. How many kinds of trees are in your neighborhood? How old are they? When was the last time you laid down under your favorite tree to watch the wind blow through the branches? Give your child a special basket to start a nature collection. Plant a tree and watch it grow, slow ‘n sure. Give your child his own garden space. Pay attention to this lush blooming place that surrounds you.

Moon and Stars

Children believe in the magic of the night sky. Men in moons and stars waiting to grant each wish. Use the night sky to bring calm to the end of a busy day. Chart the night sky. Your child can make an original connect-the-dots drawing of what he sees. Or, have your child draw the moon each night on a daily calendar. Your child will learn to patiently anticipate the next full moon.

 Sun and Shadows

You’d never miss a rainbow but how often do you ignore a shadow? Tall shadows walking in your child footsteps. Does everything have a shadow? Can you trick a shadow or is it only a shadow who tricks you? A sunny day and there’s end to the games your child can invent with shadows. Catch it. Draw it. Make a group shadow. Shadow watching will fine tune your child’s attention to details and give immediate answers to hypothesizing little scientists.

Sand and Ocean

Best of all, if your child’s backyard is the Ocean with seaweed and jellyfish included. Oceans rock and roar. They are fierce and they are gentle. What attracts your child on a day at the beach? The splashing waves, the salty air, building in the sand, or watching her feet sink deeper and deeper in the tide? Notice how different the ocean is at dusk than at dawn, in January than in May. Once again, your child discovers that nature is always changing.

It’s all there for the taking. The beauty, the tranquility, a place to be curious, a place to feel at home. Time in nature will give your child a home in a truly amazing world.

Karen Deerwester is the owner of Family Time Coaching & Consulting, writing and lecturing on parenting and early childhood topics since 1984. Karen is also the Mommy & Me director at The Ruth and Edward Taubman Early Childhood Center at B’nai Torah Congregation in Boca Raton.

The Benefits of a Coach and Mentor for a Pregnant Teen

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

It helps to have an objective person guide you and your family through your decision-making process. Sometimes, when we have difficult choices to make, we’d like to avoid the subject. Many times it takes another person to force us to look at the important issues.

Here at Legacy 4 Kids we are specially trained to assist you in making arrangements for your best possible care and to help you prepare for your future. We are unbiased and we do not have an agenda.

At Legacy 4 Kids you will find people who care about your well-being and that of your baby. We are called counselors, coaches or advocates. Your chats with one of us will provide a way for you to talk through solutions. Out of care and concern, we will give you the opportunity to take a look at your situation and the changes you want to make for a happier future. A counselor can also help you gauge your readiness for parenting. She can give you insight, provide a list of helpful resources and lend you moral support. Just as important, she can serve as a mediator between you and your parents, or between you and your baby’s father.

Depending on your needs, assistance can be provided for obtaining financial aid, medical care, prenatal and childbirth education and — if necessary — housing, maternity clothes and transportation.

It is also advisable that your parents are included in or get counseling as well. There are many excellent reasons why they should talk with an objective professional. A counselor can help to resolve negative feelings like guilt, anger, denial and frustration. She can also help them to be honest with you in terms of what you can and cannot expect from them.

Most parents are too close to the problem to be objective. Counseling can provide your mother and father with the tools to “back off” and allow you to come to your own decision. A trained professional could steer them toward letting go of some of the responsibility. She could assist your parents toward being alert to your needs, yet also help establish the fact that they are not responsible for the choice you make concerning the baby.

It may be hard for your parents to cope with their daughter’s growing up so quickly. If your mom has protected and sheltered you all her life, it’s going to be pretty hard for her to suddenly take off on a shopping trip with you to buy maternity clothes. But counseling can help her and your father work through the upset, confused feelings they may be experiencing.

If you or your parents would like to consider working with me as your mentor and coach, please contact me directly at Legacy 4 Kids and you can book an FREE no cost PRIVATE consultation.