Archive for December, 2011

An Unsolicited Gift

Thursday, December 29th, 2011

“This year I am determined to practice what I preach. I will not allow stress or fear to consume me or make decisions for me. I will move forward with a positive attitude and be thankful for all I have and the love I share”.
KM Bodio

As Founder of Legacy 4 Kids Foundation I see a great deal of pain and frustration in a number of my clients. At the moment they make the decision to call me or engage myself or a member of my team for our services, they are unaware of the mighty strength they have and the amazing abilities they each possess to make this unplanned crisis a positive one in the lives of so many.

Each one of us is given many gifts in life. At times they may seem like challenges that we do not seem to have the ability or energy to face. These are opportunities to grow and to become the compassionate individuals that we are meant to be. Once we accept the challenge and grasp the concept it all gets easier and the path to peace will unfold. It seems like a lot of rhetoric, but it isn’t. I know from personal experience, some of my biggest challenges have become my biggest accomplishments and created immense amounts of happiness for both myself and those around me.

A few of you know my story, many of you don’t. I was a pregnant teen and gave birth to my beautiful daughter when I was only 18. I became a single mother at 21. I had a limited education and limited funds but I was determined to give my little one a life of love, security and a future. Through many obstacles and self imposed challenges, I am happy to say with a great deal of support and help from family and friends, I accomplished my mission.

However, my daughter chose a different path in adult hood and 24 years later my daughter was pregnant and did not have anyway of supporting herself or her child.  I had no idea what to say or do. By this time my mother and my daughters paternal grandmother had passed, both being huge contributors and great influences throughout our lives. I didn’t have anywhere to turn for the motherly advise I so needed right then.  However, I knew without doubt of any kind I was going to be the primary caregiver to the child if my daughter chose to follow through with the pregnancy.  I had to allow for the all of the chaos and fear to take place around me, all the while knowing what I was going to do, I just didn’t know the how. All I could do is to accept my challenge, be thankful for the opportunity and to move forward with grace. This is called faith!!!

I have had custody of my little granddaughter since birth and she is the light of my life. My Husband and I have chose

Veyah Christmas morning

Veyah

to raise her and give her the life her birth parents are unable  to. Veyah  is the happiest most loving gift to all of us each and every day.

Now I know not all of us can make this choice due to so many of life’s situations and constraints, but remember there is always a choice. I know so many wonderful people that want to parent. Each day I talk to individuals hoping to have the opportunity to love a little one and give them a safe place to grow up and a future to be proud of. These families are angels. They have a lot of love to give. Each child deserves a future to be proud of and to live a life of love, honor, courage and grace. These families offer all of this and more.

If you or someone you know is facing the challenge of an unplanned pregnancy, remember it is not the end of your life as you know it. It can be a new beginning for many including yours.

Be open to the gifts life gives us. It may just be the best ever!

Kelly Marquet-Bodio

Legacy 4 Kids Foundation

Princess Stuff Again, Really?

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

I loved this video, big huge high five to you Riley! You are right, not all girls only like PINK!

As a Parent of a Pregnant Teen-Helping Her to Make an Informed Decision

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can be a scary situation in which to find yourself, and if you are a parent of a pregnant teen you are also facing so much anxiety, guilt and anger.

Pregnancy may be a new experience in itself, and then add the fact that it was unplanned and it is your child who is now pregnant, OMG she’s only a baby herself. “Where did I go wrong”?  No matter what it can be stressful and overwhelming. Even so, it’s crucial to remember that you and your daughter have options.

As a Parent of a Pregnant Teen Helping Her to Make an Informed Decision:

The best thing you could do, for both you, your child, and your child’s child is to make an informed decision. An informed decision means that you have studied your options, understand the consequences of each decision, analyzed you and your child’s well being, and made a choice that reflects what you’ve learned and discovered about yourself and your daughter’s situation. Your basic options are abortion, adoption, family parenting and your daughter parenting on her own.

If your daughter decides to consider aborting her pregnancy, there are many things you and she need to research: abortion complications, procedures, and risks. You’ll need to read about the types of abortion and how to prepare both you and her for the procedure. Also, keep in mind that each state has its own abortion laws and guidelines. What’s legal in one state-in reference to the term of pregnancy allowed to abort-isn’t legal in another. If your state disallows abortion, you may need to visit another state for the procedure. And that can take a lot of planning and patience.

Adoption is another option your family might want to consider. You can place right after labor and delivery or you can wait until you’re daughter is ready to place the little one with an adoptive family. If adoption is a viable option for your daughter, look into working with adoption professionals: adoption agencies, adoption lawyers, and adoption facilitators. While not all these adoption professionals are required to process and finalize an adoption, it can be to your benefit to have as many people working with you as possible.

Just because the pregnancy is your daughter’s doesn’t mean that your job as a parent stops with your own child. She is going to need you. She needs to know you love her and support her decisions related to this now so important matter. You won’t be able to make the situation simply go away, but you can open up communication and begin a trust relationship that is so important right now. It is not the time to condemn or ridicule. It is the time to be a team. Work together for the best interest of the unborn.

Many young people feel pressured by family and friends to abort or place. While that shouldn’t happen, it does. Remember that this needs to be your daughter’s choice. No one else should make this decision for her, because she is the one that will live with the consequences and effects for the rest of her life. If she wants to try parenting, she can do so. She can always decide to place later if parenting isn’t for her.

Pregnancy Counseling:
Pregnancy counseling is a great way to thoroughly explore your daughter’s many options. She will sit with a counselor and discuss her situation in depth. S/he will ask you about your life goals, expectations, and needs. S/he will ask you want you want out of life and where you see herself in five years, maybe even ten or fifteen. Once the counselor understands her better, s/he can start pregnancy counseling. In its basic form, pregnancy counseling is an assisted view of your daughters options.

Gathering a Support System:
Having support is important during this process. There will be times that you and she feel alone, confused, angry or scared. These are the times when you will both need your friends and family members around you, helping you. If you don’t have family or friends that will be your support system, you can also join a local support group for those experiencing similar situations. You’ll build relationships and friendships that can help you both during the tough times and celebrate with you during the happy times.

If you feel more comfortable with one-on-one interaction, you can visit with a professional counselor. S/he can help you understand yourself, your needs, and your fears. Your counselor can help you begin the emotional healing process if your daughter decides to abort or place. Even if you decide to parent the child yourself, visiting with a counselor can be useful and beneficial.

Moving Forward:

No matter which decision your daughter makes, there is always a time to move forward for the family. This necessary forward motion is both emotional and physical in nature. Depending on the choice made, you may need to devote some time to find emotional healing. Even though you all made an informed decision, there will be times that will be difficult, saddening, and painful.

There are different ways to move forward. The more obvious one is to move forward with the decision made. However, keep in mind that your daughter can always change her mind if it’s before parental rights are severed or after an abortion procedure has been completed. You both can move forward by recording your journeys in a journal, speaking with a counselor, or by joining a support group.

While an unplanned pregnancy may disrupt the current movement of your lives, you do have options. Throughout this process, remember that you’re not alone. You have others around you who have been in similar situations and you have family and friends who love you. It may be tempting to get caught in despair or fear, but think of this as a new journey, a chance to learn more about yourself.

If you would like to discuss this situation more please contact us for a confidential no obligation phone consultation. You can do this anonymously by calling 877-768-4064 or by logging into our website at www.Legacy4Kids.com. There you can fill out a web form with your contact information and we will get back to you to chat about your options. Remember, you are not alone. We are here to help.

Warmly,

Kelly Marquet-Bodio

Founder – Legacy 4 Kids Foundation

 

Birthmother Housing

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

When facing an unplanned pregnancy, you might feel scared, alone or even worried about your future and the future of your unborn child. If your friends and family aren’t supportive during this time, it can lead to more stress and make you feel even more alone as you map out your future. This is why many adoption professionals provide birth mother housing. It gives expectant mothers considering adoption a safe and secure place, where they feel accepted and supported as they move forward in their pregnancy.

Birth mother housing comes in many different shapes and sizes. Some professionals offer a more low-key arrangement, allowing expectant mothers to stay with families who volunteer their time and space for women who are in need of a safe and secure place to stay throughout their pregnancy. Other professionals offer a more independent living setting, where expectant mothers will share an apartment or house that more closely resembles the comforts of home, while you share your experience with other expectant mothers who are making adoption plans for their child.

Utilizing birth mother housing options allows you to have access to support staff and volunteers who are there to help counsel you in your time of greatest need. Adoption professionals who provide this service do so because they realize the importance of offering support and guidance during this emotional time. Having someone to talk to who can help you cope with the emotions surrounding your unplanned pregnancy as well as assist you in making a successful adoption plan is an invaluable resource. Taking advantage of birth mother housing gives you the support and advice you need at your fingertips.

There is hope. If you need someone to talk to who will support you in your adoption plan while offering you a safe place to stay during your pregnancy or simply want more information, please contact Legacy 4 Kids Foundation at 877-768-4064.

Consider It!

Monday, December 12th, 2011

It amazes me each time I chat with a young woman how often she refers to others to explain herself. “My boyfriend says I…My mom says that I should…

I want all young women out there to be quiet for just a moment each day to reflect on yourself. Who are you today? How do you see yourself? What are your dreams? Who do you want to be in  5 years?

It’s hard isn’t it? All the mind chatter gets in the way and you start hearing the “others” voices of who you should be, what you should want…

Take 10 minutes each day. Set a time to be alone and reflect (meditate). Visualize who you want to be. The path will become clearer for you and decisions will be easier if you take the time to consider the possibilities.

Who do you admire? Who makes you look up if mentioned in the news or by a friend? What difference do you want to make? Don’t worry about the how, just give yourself the time to consider.

My challenge to all parents is to allow and be OK with your children thinking about themselves. What do they want? What is important to them? By doing this you validate them as a human being. Don’t be frightened if it doesn’t match up with your expectations. Understand you gave birth to an individual, not an addition to yourself.  Sometimes this is the hardest concept for a parent to grasp. We are here to help these young people become the leaders of the next generation. It is our job to be the best human we can be and hope and pray they notice.

Mistakes, of course  they will make them. So did we! Champion them when they move forward. Love them either way- but be the kind, loving decent parent they deserve.

They may not have the future you planned for them on the radar, but the key is to listen early to the future they see for themselves. You will learn a great deal about them and open up a huge amount of trust and communication by asking them about their thoughts, then quickly shutting up. If they don’t engage immediately, they will…just give them the space to contemplate. Don’t badger, simply listen. Sometimes the silence you hear can be deafening!

If you would like to chat with me personally I would love to hear from you.

Thanks so much for visiting www.Legacy4Kids.org

Kelly Marquet-Bodio