Archive for January, 2012

YOU ARE HER MAGIC

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

From the moment we are born and through around fifth grade we consider our mothers be the most magical person in the universe. She can fix everything. She makes us feel better with a simple smile or graceful hug. She can say the simplest thing to make all the hurt go away. Her very smell or voice can change our attitude from tears to giggles. We cry when she leaves and anticipate her arrival.

Then…

One day we realize she isn’t what she said she was. NOPE, she is human like every other mother out there! She’s been lying! Now, you are angry and you question each thing she says…Why should I do that? What for? I don’t feel like it. Well, you said you would make it to my swim meet, but you didn’t! Why should I do what you say? Why should I believe that you will pick me up after school?  I’ll just go home with Sarah, her mom always picks her up on time.

No, I don’t want to cut my hair like that, I want to look like Sarah’s mom, not like you! I don’t want to wear that anymore, I want to wear…

Sound familiar? Yes, the day we as moms fall from grace. The day our little ones realize we are not super heroes, but just ordinary women. It’s a rough day, but a day we will all face in some way or another. No worries my dear, it won’t last forever.

So what do we a mom’s do to make this easier. How do we stoop it? Well, there are a few ways:

  1. When she is small, admit when you have made a mistake. Own up to it and appoligize for the blunder. This shows her early on you are human and still lovable.
  2. When someone else makes a mistake talk about it and how it could have been done better or with less chaos or …
  3. When she fails at something or forgets to do something, simply remind her that we all make mistakes, you still love her and you expect her to do better next time.

With these few rules, she will feel trust for you from the very beginning. Communication is still the key ingredient to ensure a less chaotic teenager/parent relationship.

One day your precious little girl will again come back, hopefully before she makes you a grandmother. This is usually the shoe in. Once she is a mother herself, she will finally understand your message and your story.

Make way for this transition, and do not take it personal. It will happen to some degree. Be strong, be calm and most of all give yourself a big hug. Your princess is NORMAL and you are a good mom.

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Celebrating Martin Luther King Jr.

Saturday, January 14th, 2012

I want to invite you to watch this video. It is my nephew’s 6th grade class last year performing a song their teacher wrote to honor Martin Luther King Jr. birthday.

This is nothing short of amazing. Please watch this and comment below.

 

The Boyfriend

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

 

 

One of the most common calls I get is from a parent concerned her daughter is spending too much time with her boyfriend…”I keep telling her to spread out her time with her friends and school, but she ignores me.”

You know the scenario, your tween daughter comes to the breakfast table one morning and your realize that she has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by this, this ‘woman’.

When did it happen? Where was I? Oh my gosh, by little princess is now a TEEN and she looks 20!

Yep, and she has her own identity and it’s not the one you gave her, It’s her version! What now?

She doesn’t seem to hang on your every word anymore and she has her own opinion, her own agenda, her own friends (not from one of the play dates you set up) and now a BOYFRIEND!

Oh, and this guy is special. When he calls or texts your see a flash of light leave the room where your daughter once was…She is suddenly so focused on his need or request. (don’t you wish she was that focused on her homework)? You might not see her for hours. What do they talk about for so long?

No time for lunch with mom or a trip to the mall, she is too busy on the phone or on chat with him.  Or running out to meet him.  But the question is where? Doing what? With whom and why so often? What about school? What about dinnertime? What about family night?  Where is she?

She used to love Mexican food, now she “hates” it. She won’t wear that cute outfit you two bought together anymore. She starts dressing different…not necessarily bad, just different…She is now watching different TV shows and she is using a different language. I don’t know what the hell she is talking about!

Your question: How do I get my daughter back?

My Answer: You don’t. You get a new version, and new and improved one.  (kinda like the Microsoft updates, you can try to keep it as is, but it won’t work for long  and if you do it will cause chaos). Get used to it!

How do YOU feel about this?

Well, if you are like most parents you are yearning to have your little angel back.

You don’t know how to start a conversation without it turning into an argument. You  want avoid confrontation but you have so many questions:

Where are you going?

When will you be home?

Who are you going with?

Him again? Didn’t you just see him yesterday?

Are you having SEX?

Are you using protection?

What do his parents do?

What do they think about you two spending so much time together?

Do they think you are having SEX?

How do I get through to her I just want to protect her? Why isn’t she listening to me? What should I do?

We can help, just give us a call toll free at 877.768.4064 or visit our website at www.Legacy4Kids.org. We have many tips and information to make it easier for you as a parent.

And remember, you are the not the only one that says…

“I don’t think they are having sex but…”

First of all, as my girlfriend and trusted colleague puts it, “If your ‘uh oh’ meter is up…chances are so is something else…” You got the picture right?

What is the next step? How do you bridge this gap?

Call us.

 

 

The Full Moon

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

Hopes, dreams, wants, needs and extremes. Perhaps the full moon has all the answers!

Do you ever hope the full moon will change the tide of luck in your world? I know many do. The moon is a powerful presence in our life. positive gaze

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst…  this is what my clients tell me. What if we only expect the best? What if we no longer accepted the worst? What if we only identified with the wonderful, what then?

Then our little ones would follow suit. Expecting excellence and receiving it. What is your mindset teaching your kids?