Archive for March, 2013

If Parents Were Hired, Would You Apply?

Sunday, March 24th, 2013

From one of my previous posts…but seems quite fitting for today.

 

Responsibilities Include but are not limited to:

Daily physical care of the child. This care may change at various stages. At all ages this care will include providing:

 • Well-balanced, nutritional meals and assurance that the child eats sufficiently to meet his/her growth needs.

• Provide Clothing and footwear appropriate for the season and occasion.

• Provide Shelter that is safe and comfortable.

• Provide Medical care: preventive with annual check-ups and immunizations; responsive when the child is sick.

• Assurance that the child is receiving sufficient sleep to remain healthy and responsive.

• Toileting training and considering issues in infancy and toddlerhood. (Frequent, responsive diapering until the child is toilet trained. Assistance and support until toilet training is mastered).

• Provide nurturing responsibilities that include encouragement, comforting, consistency, establishment of a sense of security, dependability, playing, counseling, and loving.

• Facilitating discipline issues include understanding and setting appropriate limits for age, consistency of expectations and responses, self-management of anger, being a good example.

• Providing education opportunities by providing a traditional education through a school or in the home. Non-academic education includes teaching independent life skills (dressing, hygiene, decision-making, social skills, physical fitness and sports, manners, and responsibility) that are appropriate at each age.

• Provide moral guidance by teaching right from wrong and enforcing rules. Monitoring child’s activities to assure they are appropriate, including previewing and at times censoring reading material, television, computer games, movies, and friends. Providing clear and consistent limits for behavior that are age appropriate and that respond to the individual child’s maturity level.

• Provide spiritual guidance includes instilling in the child a sense of hope and well-being.

• Other responsibilities include: chauffeur, social director, scheduler, advocate, and manager.

 Time requirements:

• 24 hours a day, seven days a week until the child can make it on his/her own, minimum of 18 years and counting.

• No vacation time

• No sick leave

• Time off only when a suitable substitute has been found

Qualifications include:

• Sense of humor

• High self-esteem

• Selflessness

• Emotional maturity

• Financial security

• Dependable support system

• Energetic, trust in judgment

• General understanding of the needs of children

• Diplomatic

• Consistent

• Dependable

• Loving

• Able to make an 18+ year commitment

 Benefits:

• Unconditional love of a child

• The knowledge that you are guiding a child to become a healthy, happy, productive member of society

 Compensation:

• Love

• Satisfaction of a job well-done

Mindset and Mommies

Friday, March 22nd, 2013
What Next?

What Next?

Are you concerned about your daughter’s self-esteem? Do you worry that she may not be happy? Does she seem to have a non-focused energy around her? Has she shut down lately? Is communication getting more difficult? Are you wishing you still felt the connection with her like you did before she hit her tween/teen years?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions; my friend, you are not alone…Most of us have been there.

I believe the best way to help our young girls is to help YOU. We as parents can be very hard on ourselves. We never feel like we have done enough. There simply isn’t enough time to fit it all in. One day we look up and our little girl is right around the corner from being 13! Where did all the time go?

What about these thoughts, do they sound familiar?

“Why isn’t my daughter like hers, she is always happy? Her daughter grabs the world by the tail, she gets good grades, she’s never in trouble. They have a great relationship. They do everything together. They can laugh, joke and shop without getting into it. What is going on with me and my daughter?”

Well if you know me or have been following my life work, you know I have a bit of personal insight into this…

As a mom, your personal mind set is your key – your magic wand…YES, I did write that. See, we all have mind chatter, lots of it. Most of it we don’t even consciously realize that we are listening to it. What is yours saying?

Here is a list of sample sabotaging thoughts that have inhabited your brain:

  • Sometimes, if you’re really honest with yourself, you may feel you are not “enough” as a parent.
  • You often use excuses, usually about time and money for not taking advantage of opportunities that are right in front of you to spend one on one time with your daughter.
  • You sometimes operate from a fear mentality keeping yourself from asking her questions.
  • You regularly focus on what’s lacking in your life, rather than on what you want.
  • You allow fear of rejection and failure to get in the way of taking action.
  • You look at your existing situation instead of focusing on your dream.
  • You gave up your own dreams a long time ago.
  • You may be putting too much focus on the negative influence in your surroundings especially the news media or what others around you are saying.
  • You look at what others around you are doing to set your own benchmarks.
  • You don’t listen to your intuition as much as you should.
  • You sometimes back away from uncomfortable situations that represent opportunities for your own growth.
  • You aren’t willing to speak the truth about your hidden behaviors.
  • You numb yourself or stay too busy or scattered to fully receive your inner guidance.
  • You don’t realize how your beliefs are creating your reality.
  • You are not clear enough on your own life purpose.
  • You don’t always have enough confidence in yourself.
  • You don’t take enough personal responsibility for your results, sometimes blaming certain circumstances or situations for what you don’t have yet.
  • You’re afraid of investing in yourself for fear of losing money.
  • You don’t always trust yourself to make the right decision, so no decision often feels like the better option.
  • You get frozen in your fears and stop taking action.
  • You may be embarrassed or have shame about certain aspects of yourself or your life and that stops you from seeing yourself as being worthy of having it all and being a great parent.

Now what do we do with all this? “What does changing our own mindset have to do with creating a good relationship with my daughter?” “I’m worried about her not me! I’m FINE!”

Let me tell you something. She knows exactly what you are thinking…She has felt your thoughts since she was still in the womb. And for those of you who have adopted your precious ones…she knows you as well as if she was born from you. Your energies have collided since the very first day you set eyes on her. You are her rudder. During the very best of days and for the days filled with anguish and fear. You cannot keep secrets from your kids…No how – No way!

Now if you are feeling a bit uncomfortable with yourself and life as you know it. She is feeling it too. You teach her everything, including the bad stuff. Now of course not on purpose…She watches your every move, your facial expressions. She measures herself and progress by your reactions. Now as a tween she knows you and how you tick, better than anyone else. Now read this: She loves you anyway. Even if she isn’t acting like it at times…She loves you anyway. The same way you love her anyway! Yes, really!

Now in order to help you move forward and develop a relationship of love, honor, courage and grace with your daughter and to help her live her life in the same direction I have created a program. It is called The Mother/Daughter Code of Conduct.   This program is dedicated to the present and future of both yourself and your daughter. It will immediately help you and she come back to the place of peaceful communication and develop a future strategy for harmony in your lives.

Now if you are interested in learning more about The Mother/Daughter Code of Conduct program I will be doing a call this spring right after Spring break. You will all be receiving a link to the date and time to register and the I really want all of you to take the time during this call to be there completely. No interruptions. The call will only last about one hour. I know you can find this for yourself. It is so important.   It will help you to understand how to get your daughter involved in your life again and help you to be the MOM you want to be instead of the MOM you wish you weren’t.

Best,

Kelly

 

 

 

 

If you only have a few months to live

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

If you were told you only had a few months to live, how would your kids remember you?

I know this may spark an issue with a few of you out there, but I continue to see this over and over in my business, Working Moms and lost kids. I strongly feel the American family is broken. We have more kids in trouble at ridiculously early ages. Screaming for attention? Screaming to be heard? Pregnant at 12, in jail for murder at 8? Come on people, there is a reason here! It is US! OUR FAULT! They have no direction. Families need at least two incomes to survive. Kids are left to wander streets or watch bad TV and music videos and this becomes their compass.

It is time we all realize ADD, ADHD, emotional problems, anger issues can all be reduced if we just go back and make the decision to raise our own kids. Be home. Give structure. Give discipline. Cook dinner. Eat together. Discuss dreams, values and goals together. Sounds a bit like the 50’s again doesn’t  it?

I am a career consultant. I work with a lot of women that have made the decision to have kids and then need to go back to work ASAP to survive. Because of this, our kids are suffering. In the end, our society will pay a price that was unimaginable just a few years ago.

Consider this; your leaders in a few short years are the kids that have grown up and been raised by MTV, vampire movies, violent video games and terror. They have been eating fast food, a majority of them are overweight, suffer from ADD, ADHD, anger issues and emotional problems due to lack of self esteem and bad diets.

Come on ladies:

If you are going to get pregnant, and give birth to a tiny little person, you had better make the commitment to honor them and raise them. Because if you screw that up, it will follow you forever! I know. I worked and was a single mom for a good portion of my daughter’s young life. She is 25 years old today and has no direction. I spent most of my time struggling and trying to be the best young talent executive instead of the best Mommy. Now, at 43 years old, I see the damage my chaos caused. I see the repercussions every day in my daughter’s life. Her inability to reason and her entitlement issues are a constant concern.

So, how do we fix it?

Ages 0-3.  This is a vital time for Mom to be home. If you must work outside of the home, do it after the child is 3 years of age. Then, be sure to have a structure that gives your child safety and consistency. Be predictable to your kids. Most importantly, be accountable. Don’t disappear!

There are a number of ways for a working Mom or Parent to work and still be home and available to their kids. I work with a few great folks that have great ideas and I am sure that your kids will benefit. Here is one, Carrie Wilkerson, “The Barefoot Executive,” and President of the Association of Work at Home Women. Carrie and her network of experts have quickly become the definitive resource for helping others achieve extra income and career goals while working from home.  Currently a mentor/coach/advisor to over 100,000 men and women as the Barefoot Executive through videos, podcasts, masterminding, mentoring and live speaking. Not only a business expert, but an expert IN Business, Carrie’s work-at-home methods have inspired thousands and have earned many awards, online and off.

Now I know this is not the 50’s. And I know I have struck a chord with a few of you. I also know we live in a world that is demanding change. We must carve a new road ASAP. The one we are on is going to lead us to our demise. We can no longer afford to flail, or rely on big companies and employers. This is no longer our security. It is time to build our lives and our futures ourselves.  Create a future for our kids we can be proud of. Leave them a legacy and memories that don’t stop at X Box!