Archive for the ‘love+life’ Category

A Challenge of Change

Friday, June 22nd, 2012

Communication is the Magic Wand

So tell me, what would happen if we all took it upon ourselves to replace:

HATE-PAIN-ANGER-STRUGGLE-VIOLENCE

with

LOVE, HONOR, COURAGE, GRACE AND GRATITUDE?

Each day it is your challenge to make a choice and make this change. Then watch your world around you. You will be astounded.

One of the simplest ways to do this is to turn off the TV, computer, phones and video games. Talk with your kids about their day. Ask them these two simple questions at dinner time: Yes, dinnertime. If you don’t currently have one, create it.

1. What was the best part of your day?

2. What was the worst part of your day?

At bedtime, ask each one of your kids what they are most grateful for in their world. Then simply listen. It may be deafening.

You will learn a great deal about them and they will learn a lot about you as well. It is your job to participate and facilitate. It might be difficult at first…but stick with it. It just may be the one thing they remember most!

Mean Teens and the Magic Wand

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

I wasn't born to be mean!

Recently it seems that there are so many stories in the news about teens being blatantly disrespectful and cruel. Today I see that 3 teen boys bullied a woman on a school bus to tears and no one stepped in to help or to correct them. Now I read on facebook that 3 other teen boys threatened a man and his Service Dog on a golf course with a rifle and a knife…

Why is it that kids are so angry, rude and untrustworthy?

I have been working with teens and parents for quite some time now and I have to say that it is we that are at fault. YES, not the kids here. Kids are not born mean. Some parents just don’t take parenting seriously anymore. There is little or no accountability for these kids. Parents themselves must understand that kids do and act as they are taught. They mimic what they see. Now I am not saying the parents of these kids taught or told them to act this way, but what have these kids been surrounded with. Who are their peers? What are their parents like? What do they watch on TV? What are they seeing on the computer? What the hell are the parents watching. This reality TV has become our worst nightmare. It is JUNK! Nothing inspiring just plain foul!

I hear people complaining constantly about how terrible kids are today…WELL do something about it. Stop complaining. Make a difference. Whether you are a parent or not you live on this planet. You are a functioning adult. Step up. Be a mentor to a young person. Teach them respect by being respectful. Teach them gratitude by being grateful. Teach them love by being loving. They will learn these traits from the very moment they are born. Let’s stop complaining about life. If our kids know nothing of violence, hate, anger, mistrust and foul play…they will not behave the way these boys have.

CRAP in = CRAP out. Not too difficult to understand. Children develop a conscience by the time they are 7 years old. What have they seen, heard and lived through by this time?  Trying to change it after 7 years old is difficult but not impossible. But it is so much easier to be a kind and loving adult who is responsible for your own actions. Live your life being grateful…If each one of us makes a choice to do this each and every day the kids around us may just follow suit.

Turn off the news. Turn off the negative programs. They are programming our kids as well as you! Be aware of who your kids are spending time with. What are they seeing on the computer…Who is it they follow? Break the spell.

Dream about possibilities. Allow your children to dream big. Give them an option to tell you each day about a wish they have.   Applaud them. Give them hope. Happiness is a choice. It is your choice. Show them that happiness and respect is a magic wand and they have the power to use it.

toddler vs. teen

Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

OK, so I think I have it…If your daughter is really easy to get along with and follows all the rules as a young little one …you are in TROUBLE when she hits adolescence. All things change, radically! I know this to be true…I have personally experienced it! However, if she is tough and she tests you over and over again as early as 3 and figures out a way to justify her actions. She will then get all the challenging bad behavior over with by 12 and be a model perfect teen. Then she will be your shining light- right?

Who do You Have on Your “Support Team”? by Ally Loprete

Thursday, June 7th, 2012

We are very affected by the energy of the people who surround us… especially the people who
we love most.

It’s not the easiest thing to admit, but often it is the support (or lack thereof) from our friends and
family members who make or break our success. These characters are only fragments of the
people we love most and our need to impress them is fabricated by our own insecurities and
fears. When we are working overtime to appease them, we become unclear about our own
intentions and consequently deny serving our happiest self. Our inner voice becomes silenced.
We begin following someone else’s instincts rather than our own, and consequently lose
ourselves beneath the confusion.

On the other hand having a strong support base, fans who adore you and are rooting for you, can
make a terrific impact and result in achieving your ultimate reality. I’ve seen people reboot their
entire lives by guiding the negative relationships out the door, shutting it and never looking back.
We all have complicated relationships. Its what makes our lives interesting! But if you are too
affected by Debbie Downer or Judgmental Judy, its time to leave the party and find a new one to
attend. Look for Supportive Sally, and Caring Cathy. Remind me to introduce you to Helpful
Helen and Positive Patty. These terrific ladies will be the best friends you ever had.

Self -employed Parent Enthusiast Ally Loprete is the Founder of OurMilkMoney.com, a
nationwide online business directory of self-employed parents, and the host of This Little
Parent Stayed Home, a live weekly radio show, on The Toginet.com Radio Group which can
be downloaded on iTunes. Ally is on a mission to help other’s deal with the sometimes
overwhelming prospect of leaving a full time job to start a new business, while running a full
time household and raising kids. She is resolute about creating a haven in which parents across
the nation will continue to thrive and obtain the support they need in their personal journeys.
Self-employed parents, list your business for free at www.ourmilkmoney.com. Private coaching
is available at www.thislittleparent.info.

Your Echo is Your Answer

Wednesday, April 18th, 2012

So often we wonder why we as mothers are struggling so much to make our point. Why is it our families are not listening to us unless we are yelling at the top of our lungs and we make it clear we are finally pissed off!

We are unhappy, overwhelmed, stressed, depressed and we are exhausted. Why?

Here is a quick audio that will explain what I have learned over the past 25 years working with teens and parents.

Let me know your thoughts.



Making It Right, A Mom’s Very First Step to Creating a Harmonious Relationship with Your ‘Budding’ tween or teen Daughter.

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

• Are you a mom that is starting to feel the pain of a communication breakdown with your tween or teen?

• Is your once delightful little one developing an attitude you simply don’t get?

• Are you looking for a way to stop the communication breakdown before it escalates and gets worse.

• Is she suddenly ‘tuning you out?’ Only using selective hearing…

• Are you concerned that she may be getting into trouble or keeping things from you?

• Are you finding it hard to make even the smallest comment without her taking it wrong are getting defensive or angry?

• Does she accuse you of being angry or making her life difficult when you ask her to clean her room, help with laundry, do dishes or participate in the household conversation?

Well I have a few answers for you, all you have to do, is click the link below and you will be signed up for a no obligation and no cost  phone appointment with me to personally discuss strategy over the phone. The call dedicated to helping you find your voice and stride to make this change and transformation of your little princess into a gracious young woman you can be proud of without a fight.

It’s not what you think. This is not a call to take lightly. I am going to be candid about a few things you need to know. It might not be what you expect or want to hear. But it is the truth. I have worked with many teens and young women for over 20 years. I have felt many of the feelings of overwhelm you are felling right now. Now I know how to stop the madness and confusion BEFORE it becomes unmanageable. I wish I did 15 years ago!

This is not just a call for parents of teens. This call is for you if you are a parent, a woman, a mentor, a teacher or caregiver to our most precious commodity – Our kids and our future.

Click Here to schedule a no obligation call with me personally to discuss how to take you out of overwhelm.

Alexander Tsiaras: Conception to birth — visualized

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

One of the most amazing videos I have seen in a long while.

Your Life, Your Dreams = Your Echo

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

This is a great video for all, not just parents done by an inspiring women named Danielle LaPorte – called: A Credo for Making it Happen.

We all want to make it happen. We want our kids to make it happen… If you are a parent or someone who inspires children or teens please watch. If all of us lived our lives like this all of our children would be extraordinary and the entitlement issues would fade away. I know it sounds simple, but remember our children are our echo. We must be and behave in a way our kids can be proud of and understand.

Have vision and go for it. Teach your kids the same. Give them the permission to be great.

Watch this video with your family each morning. Chat about it. Create dreams and vision. Create your echo!

The Responsibility Rules – Leading a Self-Disciplined Life in a Self-Entitled World

Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

by Susan Dench -I just received this book, I cannot wait to read it. I love her style and I appreciate her candid truth telling ability to cut through all the BS! I will let you know my thoughts in a few days when I am finished with the read.

Fostering Resiliency In Our Kids – by Elle Victoria-Vasquez

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

Fostering resiliency in our kids is a gift that never becomes outdated. Outdated are the, once
perceived, notions that idealized childhood as happy-go-lucky times where kids could be
protected from the adversities, traumas, anxieties and fears (real or imagined). We can’t always
fix or solve crisis and often the only choice that we really have is how to respond. With this in
mind, isn’t wonderful that resiliency, with its protective and adaptive qualities, can be taught and
built up? Your children will gain skills to better adapt, manage stress, anxiety, uncertainty.

Remember, resiliency is not a trait or a genetic pre-disposition; it is a skill that can be developed
and cultivated. We have the power to grow our children, tweens and teens into healthy resilient
adults by developing their metal muscles now. There are many ways that can help your child
face crisis. Here are 4 sure ways of begin the process of building up your child, tween or teen’s
mental muscle, right in the process of life.

1. Create opportunities for your child, tween and teen to succeed.

No longer are the small communities where we once competed in 4H clubs and high school
science projects and could feel like we were unique and had special skills. With the social media
and the internet any child can search a topic and find countless outlier prodigies with fantastic
and accomplished projects and acclaim. In the mind of a child this can be difficult. So what can
we do about that? Think about what our kid’s natural strengths and talents are (not what they
can learn or put on a college application necessarily). Identify 2 or 3 and begin regularly creating
opportunities where we know that our children’s odds for success are great. Start small, keep it
simple, make it regular and fun. Most importantly, be the one who notices and praises your child.
They are never too old to succeed; older kids can easily be a part of the planning and creating
process.

In times of crisis your child will have the confidence that, even though they have not
encountered this particular challenge before, they have conquered enough to know that they can
make good decisions and succeed.

2. Cultivate healthy relationships with peers, extended family and/or chosen family as
much as possible.

Kids are not born with a natural knowledge of how to make friends and nurture family
relationships. They pick up information along the way from you, media and other people at
school. It’s a crap shoot. Have a time of self-reflection; ask yourself, “How might a child perceive
my own friendships and family nurturing behaviors?” Then ask your child what s/he sees. Talk
about friendships, not as finding that small group or one best friend but as a lifelong process that
builds networks of good friends and family ties that are nurtured. Make sure your kids interact
regularly with healthy adults, grandparents, coaches, extra-curricular teachers, relatives, youth
pastors and the like. Teach them basic manners (greeting, eye contact, thank you/your welcomes,
etc.), manners build self-esteem and confidences that help your kids interact. Help your children
cultivate real interest in other’s lives and not just see others as people who can do something for
them. Start small and simple and make it regular and fun.

In times of crisis your child has the network of family and friends to choose from and turn to. They will have the confidence to speak to other necessary adults and professionals.

3. Teach and encourage “healthy helping,” reflection and gratitude.

Feeling like you have a purpose and make a difference is a powerful antidote to helplessness.
Empower your kids by engaging them in age appropriate volunteer work. Start small,
keep it simple and close to home. Great resources are helping the elderly in your family or
neighborhood. Talk to your place of worship or schools about opportunities there. Whatever
you do, don’t miss out on the opportunity to talk about the experience without judgment. Move
the conversation toward gratitude and “a good thing” and “a not so good thing” that your child
thought about their experience.

In times of crisis your child will have an expanded understanding about things that happen in
life even to good people. S/he will be less likely to feel singled out, alone or “cursed.” An added
bonus is that your youngster will have a natural faith in the helpfulness and availability of others
which will build hope in them.

4. Breaking down and dissecting

Talk about the future with your kids. “What do you think about your future?” How do you
see yourself in 10 years?” Listen. Pick a reasonable goal and break it down into as small
pieces as you both can. Start small, keep it simple and make it fun. Think parts and pieces.
Plot out the behaviors that are needed to do each step in attaining the goal. Teach your child
to deliberately dismantle tasks and tackle in steps. Always repeat phrases like, “What is the
next best step? What’s possible to do right now?” Moving toward that goal – even if it’s a tiny
step – and receiving praise for doing so will train your child to naturally focus on what s/he has
accomplished rather than on what has to be done or is not done. Acknowledge, acknowledge,
acknowledge. We can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but we can change
how we interpret and respond to these events.

In times of crisis your child will be able to break down and dissect the big challenge, into
manageable pieces. They will understand that not everything can be done immediately. They will
ask themselves, “What is the next best step I can do?”

You can reach Elle at Elle@Legacy4Kids.com