Archive for the ‘Mind+Body+Soul’ Category

Please Meet Brene Brown – I know you will relate to her message!

Wednesday, July 18th, 2012

Brene’s message is a great one for mothers/daughters worldwide. Her explanation is not a “WOO-Woo” one but simply factual and direct. Please watch her TED presentation. It is an enlightening and comical experience!

My daughter has changed. She is acting like someone I don’t know or like…

Tuesday, June 26th, 2012

Each day I hear from someone that their daughter is just not acting the way she should be. “something has changed, she is secretive, sneaky and not too much fun to be around.”  Well depending on her age and your past relationship with her this may not be all bad. It is so hard for us as mothers to distance ourselves from our little girl. One day she is hanging on our pant leg not wanting us to leave  her sight, the next she is telling us to leave her alone and stay out of her business.

Believe me, it is hard on her too. As she is growing up and needing her own space, she is also finding her true colors. Colors that are very different from yours. Hard to read, but true. Change is uncomfortable for all of us. The need to be independent one moment and then feelings that you are angry with her the next make her feel guilty for simply growing up. This of course leads to more anger and frustration. UUGG!

I usually recommend that moms start thinking about this relationship change before it happens when your daughter is about 9 years old. You can make it better for both of you if you discuss feelings, emotions, fears and anxieties together. Remember, for a long time you were a Super Hero. You knew the answer to everything. She wanted to be just like you. You could fix her pain and take away the Boogie Man. Now she is realizing that you are simply human. Have you been lying to her this whole time?  She may just be a bit pissed off that you are not Wonder Woman!

Allowing your daughter to see your vulnerabilities as well as your strengths will create a relationship of trust during the pre-teen and teen years of transition for both of you. Communication truly is the magic wand. Listening to her when she tells you about the rotten chick at school that keeps flirting with her boyfriend may seem a bit tedious at times, but please take this time to put down the smart phone, turn off the computer and TV and just listen. You don’t really need to have a bunch of input. (I doubt she will give you much time to say anything anyway.)

Don’t compare yourself to her. Your daughter is not you. She is an independent, creative, lovely individual who you have the amazing opportunity to see unfold. You created the caterpillar and it’s cocoon. It is now your daughters turn to paint the colors of her wings and fly like the butterfly she has become.

I am not saying to let go completely. I am saying to watch, look and listen. Have a positive mind set. Be grateful for each and everyday you have with her even when she may be driving you crazy. One day she will soar and your relationship will change again. Change is good and it usually leads to progress.

Remember, you are both  women with the feminine power to make this world an amazing place. Living your life by the mother/daughter code of conduct will answer the inevitable question: “Who is that alien inhabiting my daughters body, because that girl is not my daughter!”

No, she is a gift from the universe! Tell her so.

A Challenge of Change

Friday, June 22nd, 2012

Communication is the Magic Wand

So tell me, what would happen if we all took it upon ourselves to replace:

HATE-PAIN-ANGER-STRUGGLE-VIOLENCE

with

LOVE, HONOR, COURAGE, GRACE AND GRATITUDE?

Each day it is your challenge to make a choice and make this change. Then watch your world around you. You will be astounded.

One of the simplest ways to do this is to turn off the TV, computer, phones and video games. Talk with your kids about their day. Ask them these two simple questions at dinner time: Yes, dinnertime. If you don’t currently have one, create it.

1. What was the best part of your day?

2. What was the worst part of your day?

At bedtime, ask each one of your kids what they are most grateful for in their world. Then simply listen. It may be deafening.

You will learn a great deal about them and they will learn a lot about you as well. It is your job to participate and facilitate. It might be difficult at first…but stick with it. It just may be the one thing they remember most!

Mean Teens and the Magic Wand

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

I wasn't born to be mean!

Recently it seems that there are so many stories in the news about teens being blatantly disrespectful and cruel. Today I see that 3 teen boys bullied a woman on a school bus to tears and no one stepped in to help or to correct them. Now I read on facebook that 3 other teen boys threatened a man and his Service Dog on a golf course with a rifle and a knife…

Why is it that kids are so angry, rude and untrustworthy?

I have been working with teens and parents for quite some time now and I have to say that it is we that are at fault. YES, not the kids here. Kids are not born mean. Some parents just don’t take parenting seriously anymore. There is little or no accountability for these kids. Parents themselves must understand that kids do and act as they are taught. They mimic what they see. Now I am not saying the parents of these kids taught or told them to act this way, but what have these kids been surrounded with. Who are their peers? What are their parents like? What do they watch on TV? What are they seeing on the computer? What the hell are the parents watching. This reality TV has become our worst nightmare. It is JUNK! Nothing inspiring just plain foul!

I hear people complaining constantly about how terrible kids are today…WELL do something about it. Stop complaining. Make a difference. Whether you are a parent or not you live on this planet. You are a functioning adult. Step up. Be a mentor to a young person. Teach them respect by being respectful. Teach them gratitude by being grateful. Teach them love by being loving. They will learn these traits from the very moment they are born. Let’s stop complaining about life. If our kids know nothing of violence, hate, anger, mistrust and foul play…they will not behave the way these boys have.

CRAP in = CRAP out. Not too difficult to understand. Children develop a conscience by the time they are 7 years old. What have they seen, heard and lived through by this time?  Trying to change it after 7 years old is difficult but not impossible. But it is so much easier to be a kind and loving adult who is responsible for your own actions. Live your life being grateful…If each one of us makes a choice to do this each and every day the kids around us may just follow suit.

Turn off the news. Turn off the negative programs. They are programming our kids as well as you! Be aware of who your kids are spending time with. What are they seeing on the computer…Who is it they follow? Break the spell.

Dream about possibilities. Allow your children to dream big. Give them an option to tell you each day about a wish they have.   Applaud them. Give them hope. Happiness is a choice. It is your choice. Show them that happiness and respect is a magic wand and they have the power to use it.

Celebrating Martin Luther King Jr.

Saturday, January 14th, 2012

I want to invite you to watch this video. It is my nephew’s 6th grade class last year performing a song their teacher wrote to honor Martin Luther King Jr. birthday.

This is nothing short of amazing. Please watch this and comment below.

 

The Full Moon

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

Hopes, dreams, wants, needs and extremes. Perhaps the full moon has all the answers!

Do you ever hope the full moon will change the tide of luck in your world? I know many do. The moon is a powerful presence in our life. positive gaze

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst…  this is what my clients tell me. What if we only expect the best? What if we no longer accepted the worst? What if we only identified with the wonderful, what then?

Then our little ones would follow suit. Expecting excellence and receiving it. What is your mindset teaching your kids?