Archive for the ‘Hurdles’ Category

My Daughter and I Don’t Connect Anymore.

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

Are you concerned about your daughter’s self-esteem? Do you worry that she may not be happy? Has she shut down lately?Is communication getting more difficult? Are you wishing you still felt the connection with her as you did before she hit her tween/teen years?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions,  you are not alone…We have all worried about our girls.

The best way to  help our young girls is to help YOU. We as parents can be very hard on ourselves. We never feel like we have done enough. There simply isn’t enough time to fit it all in. One day we look up and our little girl is 13! Where did all the time go? Now we have damage control to look forward to…

Do these thoughts sound familiar?

“Why isn’t my daughter like hers, her daughter is always happy. She grabs the world by the tail. She gets good grades. Shes never in trouble. They have a great relationship. They do everything together. They can laugh, joke and shop without getting into it. What is going on with my daughter.”

As a mom, your personal mind set is your key – your magic wand…YES, I did write that. See, we all have mind chatter. Lots of it. Most of it we don’t even consciously realize that we are listening to it – constantly. What is yours saying?

Here is a list of sample sabotaging thoughts that have been randomly inhabiting your brains:

  • Sometimes, if you’re really honest with yourself, you may feel you are not “enough” as a parent.
  • You often use excuses, usually about time and money for not taking advantage of opportunities that are right in front of you.
  • You sometimes operate from a fear mentality.
  • You regularly focus on what’s lacking in your life, rather than on what you want.
  • You most always stop yourself in the “belief” process.
  • You allow fear of rejection and failure to get in the way of taking action.
  • You look at your existing situation instead of focusing on your dream.
  • Deep down, you may feel you don’t deserve abundance and success on a grand scale(whether you know this consciously or not)
  • You may be putting too much focus on the negative influence in your surroundings especially the news media or what others around you are saying.
  • You look at what others around you are doing to set your own benchmarks
  • You don’t listen to your intuition as much as you should.
  • You sometimes back away from uncomfortable situations that represent opportunities for growth
  • You aim way too low
  • You aren’t willing to speak the truth about your hidden behaviors
  • You numb yourself or stay too busy or scattered to fully receive your inner guidance
  • You don’t realize how your beliefs are creating your reality
  • You are afraid to take big risks
  • You are not clear enough on your own life purpose
  • You don’t always have enough confidence in yourself
  • You don’t take enough personal responsibility for your results, sometimes blaming certain circumstances or situations for what your don’t have yet
  • You’re afraid of investing in yourself for fear of losing money
  • You don’t always trust yourself to make the right decision, so no decision often feels like the better option.
  • You get frozen in your fears and stop taking action, even when the reward is right around the corner
  • You may be embarrassed or have shame about certain aspects of yourself or your life and that stops you from seeing yourself as being worthy of having it all and being a great parent.
  • You don’t believe in miracles, at least not long enough to let them into your life
  • You don’t fully believe you can actually achieve the massive success that others have
  • You believe in metaphysics but somehow have trouble manifesting the life you always wanted

If any of these seem to ring true to you and your feelings about yourself, I guarantee your daughter has picked up on it and she is rehashing it and putting it into her daily mind chatter to herself. STOP it before it’s too late! Only you have the power. Only you have the wand.

In the coming weeks I will be offering some great tools to get past these blocks and bringing you some amazing experts on this subject.

If this has been one of your true issues and you have any questions you would like to ask please feel free to email me personally at Kelly@Legacy4Kids.com. You will receive a response within 24 hours to your question from yours truly!

Believe in excellence and smile at yourself each morning. You are your kids treasure!

 

 

 

Have Mother, Will Travel Authors Claire and Mia Fontaine

Friday, August 17th, 2012

 

Listen to internet radio with Feisty Side of Fifty on Blog Talk Radio
 

 

Claire and Mia Fontaine, bestselling authors and sought-after speakers, share their own mother/daughter ups and downs with insight, courage, and a giant dose of humor. Following on the heals of their acclaimed first book, COME BACK, their latest memoir, HAVE MOTHER, WILL TRAVEL chronicles their trip around the world together. Filled with adventures, aggravation, and unexpected joys, their journey opens a brand new state of being that enriches both of their lives.

 

If you’re a mother (or if you just like adventure), you’ll want to be certain to catch this very special broadcast.

Listen to internet radio with Feisty Side of Fifty on Blog Talk Radio

Post Abortion Recovery and Counseling Service

Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

Legacy 4 Kids is offering a new class and counseling service:

Post Abortion Recovery and Counseling Service – These weekly phone sessions and unlimited email support along with support to move forward with the eight steps to recovery and self forgiveness.

There are eight steps in the process of post-abortion recovery that take each woman through the stages of grief as outlined in the class. These eight steps are specific to post-abortion healing and therefore do not apply directly to all grieving situations.

*This is a great course for all parties involved, including the parents of the pregnant couple.

  • Symptoms of Post Abortion Stress
  • Guilt
  • Anxiety
  • Psychological Numbing
  • Depression and thoughts of suicide
  • Anniversary Syndrome
  • Re-experiencing the abortion
  • Preoccupation with becoming pregnant again
  • Anxiety over fertility or childbearing issues
  • Interruption of the bonding process with present and/or future children
  • Survival Guilt
  • Development of eating disorders
  • Alcohol and drug abuse
  • Self punishing or self degrading behaviors
  • Brief reactive psychosis

If you or a loved one is suffering please feel free to give us a call or send me an email and I will make sure to give you all the information about this great program available starting March 1, 2012.

As a Parent of a Pregnant Teen-Helping Her to Make an Informed Decision

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can be a scary situation in which to find yourself, and if you are a parent of a pregnant teen you are also facing so much anxiety, guilt and anger.

Pregnancy may be a new experience in itself, and then add the fact that it was unplanned and it is your child who is now pregnant, OMG she’s only a baby herself. “Where did I go wrong”?  No matter what it can be stressful and overwhelming. Even so, it’s crucial to remember that you and your daughter have options.

As a Parent of a Pregnant Teen Helping Her to Make an Informed Decision:

The best thing you could do, for both you, your child, and your child’s child is to make an informed decision. An informed decision means that you have studied your options, understand the consequences of each decision, analyzed you and your child’s well being, and made a choice that reflects what you’ve learned and discovered about yourself and your daughter’s situation. Your basic options are abortion, adoption, family parenting and your daughter parenting on her own.

If your daughter decides to consider aborting her pregnancy, there are many things you and she need to research: abortion complications, procedures, and risks. You’ll need to read about the types of abortion and how to prepare both you and her for the procedure. Also, keep in mind that each state has its own abortion laws and guidelines. What’s legal in one state-in reference to the term of pregnancy allowed to abort-isn’t legal in another. If your state disallows abortion, you may need to visit another state for the procedure. And that can take a lot of planning and patience.

Adoption is another option your family might want to consider. You can place right after labor and delivery or you can wait until you’re daughter is ready to place the little one with an adoptive family. If adoption is a viable option for your daughter, look into working with adoption professionals: adoption agencies, adoption lawyers, and adoption facilitators. While not all these adoption professionals are required to process and finalize an adoption, it can be to your benefit to have as many people working with you as possible.

Just because the pregnancy is your daughter’s doesn’t mean that your job as a parent stops with your own child. She is going to need you. She needs to know you love her and support her decisions related to this now so important matter. You won’t be able to make the situation simply go away, but you can open up communication and begin a trust relationship that is so important right now. It is not the time to condemn or ridicule. It is the time to be a team. Work together for the best interest of the unborn.

Many young people feel pressured by family and friends to abort or place. While that shouldn’t happen, it does. Remember that this needs to be your daughter’s choice. No one else should make this decision for her, because she is the one that will live with the consequences and effects for the rest of her life. If she wants to try parenting, she can do so. She can always decide to place later if parenting isn’t for her.

Pregnancy Counseling:
Pregnancy counseling is a great way to thoroughly explore your daughter’s many options. She will sit with a counselor and discuss her situation in depth. S/he will ask you about your life goals, expectations, and needs. S/he will ask you want you want out of life and where you see herself in five years, maybe even ten or fifteen. Once the counselor understands her better, s/he can start pregnancy counseling. In its basic form, pregnancy counseling is an assisted view of your daughters options.

Gathering a Support System:
Having support is important during this process. There will be times that you and she feel alone, confused, angry or scared. These are the times when you will both need your friends and family members around you, helping you. If you don’t have family or friends that will be your support system, you can also join a local support group for those experiencing similar situations. You’ll build relationships and friendships that can help you both during the tough times and celebrate with you during the happy times.

If you feel more comfortable with one-on-one interaction, you can visit with a professional counselor. S/he can help you understand yourself, your needs, and your fears. Your counselor can help you begin the emotional healing process if your daughter decides to abort or place. Even if you decide to parent the child yourself, visiting with a counselor can be useful and beneficial.

Moving Forward:

No matter which decision your daughter makes, there is always a time to move forward for the family. This necessary forward motion is both emotional and physical in nature. Depending on the choice made, you may need to devote some time to find emotional healing. Even though you all made an informed decision, there will be times that will be difficult, saddening, and painful.

There are different ways to move forward. The more obvious one is to move forward with the decision made. However, keep in mind that your daughter can always change her mind if it’s before parental rights are severed or after an abortion procedure has been completed. You both can move forward by recording your journeys in a journal, speaking with a counselor, or by joining a support group.

While an unplanned pregnancy may disrupt the current movement of your lives, you do have options. Throughout this process, remember that you’re not alone. You have others around you who have been in similar situations and you have family and friends who love you. It may be tempting to get caught in despair or fear, but think of this as a new journey, a chance to learn more about yourself.

If you would like to discuss this situation more please contact us for a confidential no obligation phone consultation. You can do this anonymously by calling 877-768-4064 or by logging into our website at www.Legacy4Kids.com. There you can fill out a web form with your contact information and we will get back to you to chat about your options. Remember, you are not alone. We are here to help.

Warmly,

Kelly Marquet-Bodio

Founder – Legacy 4 Kids Foundation

 

Ok, so you are thinking that dreaded thought “I think my daughter is pregnant”! What am I going to do?

Saturday, August 28th, 2010

It is no longer uncommon. Our nation has one of the highest incidences of teen pregnancy and the statistics are not getting any better, in fact, they are getting worse. Girls are now having sex as early as 8 and 9 years old! They watch MTV, commercials, general programming on prime time TV and believe that this is what real life is all about. Their entire self esteem is linked to sex. Now, what do we do about it…?

The United States has the highest rates of teenage pregnancy and births in the western industrialized world. Teen pregnancy costs the United States at least $7 billion annually. Keep reading for more interesting facts on teen pregnancy statistics.

The fact that just under 1/3 of all girls in the United States will get pregnant in their teenage years is a sobering thought. Obviously, teen pregnancy is a problem in the United States. And the following statistics back that up: 

  • Every year around 750,000 teenagers will get pregnant. 
  • Depending on the state, teenage birth rates are incredibly different. Nevada has the highest rate: 113 per 1000 and North Dakota the lowest 42 per 1000. 
  • Unmarried teenagers having children account for 24 percent of all unmarried expectant mothers. 
  • More than 2/3 of all teenagers who have a baby will not graduate from high school. 
  • Billions of dollars are spent taking care of teenage mothers and their children and they are more likely to be in the poverty bracket. On the flip side, millions of dollars are spent in prevention programs.

Well if your child is not pregnant there are a lot of ways to intervene now and make this tragedy less likely, however if she is…you have found the right place at the right time.

There a number of reasons a young girl may find the concept of being a parent alluring. Perhaps she is looking for attention, needs unconditional love she isn’t getting from her family or boyfriend or perhaps she is just searching for some self worth. Regardless of the issues, another one is on the way, and it is a lot bigger than the previous ones…..

But now, this isn’t just your daughter or son’s problem, it is yours as well. Not to mention the unborn child’s.

So how do we handle this delicate situation? The questions are endless and choices are few. I have been where you are, whether you are a teen parent or a parent of a child who is expecting without the lively hood or resources to be a new parent, I get it, I understand.

  • Should I tell my son/daughter what I want them to do regarding the choices?
  • How is my daughter going to get through a pregnancy? She is just a baby herself!
  • What if there are complications? Is she too young to carry full term?
  • Will her health insurance cover the cost of termination/pre-natal care?
  • What about her education? Can she finish school pregnant?
  • What will our friends and family think?
  • Should we consider adoption? Could we live with that?
  • Where will she live, she can barely get up in the morning for class, how will she take care of a baby?
  • How are we going to pay for this? Diapers, formula, baby furniture, a nursery, childcare, education, pre-school, clothes, healthcare.
  • What if there are health issues?
  • What about the father and his family? Will they participate? Do we want them to?
  • We don’t know who the father is! What do we do? How do we go about the legal issues?
  • Have drugs/alcohol been involved during pregnancy?
  • How will she continue to go to school or work?
  • Is it my responsibility to step up and be the caretaker/financial assistance?
  • I didn’t expect to have to do this at this time in my life. Starting over?

The list goes on and on…

There are many things to consider when you yourself become pregnant even in the best circumstances, but when your own child is facing such a huge life change it will affect all of you. You will need help and guidance from a source that is not emotionally charged from the situation. That is where I come in. I am able to see the situation, find solutions and put things into perspective. YOU will have to deal with the situation; YOU must be able to be calm and see the options and make the right choices for your child as well as the grandchild on the way.  This is not easy. Don’t forget we are dedicated to leaving a Legacy 4 Kids- one of Love, Honor, Courage and Grace. I can help you do this even during this very painful time.

If you are looking for help and need resources to help you and your family get through this trying time, contact me today for a FREE 30 minute evaluation regarding both you the parents and your teen and start on the path to peace and grace during this most difficult time.

Acceptance is key. Once you are able to do this, the tasks are clear and solutions will be visible.