Archive for the ‘Life + Love’ Category

If Parents Were Hired, Would You Apply?

Sunday, March 24th, 2013

From one of my previous posts…but seems quite fitting for today.

 

Responsibilities Include but are not limited to:

Daily physical care of the child. This care may change at various stages. At all ages this care will include providing:

 • Well-balanced, nutritional meals and assurance that the child eats sufficiently to meet his/her growth needs.

• Provide Clothing and footwear appropriate for the season and occasion.

• Provide Shelter that is safe and comfortable.

• Provide Medical care: preventive with annual check-ups and immunizations; responsive when the child is sick.

• Assurance that the child is receiving sufficient sleep to remain healthy and responsive.

• Toileting training and considering issues in infancy and toddlerhood. (Frequent, responsive diapering until the child is toilet trained. Assistance and support until toilet training is mastered).

• Provide nurturing responsibilities that include encouragement, comforting, consistency, establishment of a sense of security, dependability, playing, counseling, and loving.

• Facilitating discipline issues include understanding and setting appropriate limits for age, consistency of expectations and responses, self-management of anger, being a good example.

• Providing education opportunities by providing a traditional education through a school or in the home. Non-academic education includes teaching independent life skills (dressing, hygiene, decision-making, social skills, physical fitness and sports, manners, and responsibility) that are appropriate at each age.

• Provide moral guidance by teaching right from wrong and enforcing rules. Monitoring child’s activities to assure they are appropriate, including previewing and at times censoring reading material, television, computer games, movies, and friends. Providing clear and consistent limits for behavior that are age appropriate and that respond to the individual child’s maturity level.

• Provide spiritual guidance includes instilling in the child a sense of hope and well-being.

• Other responsibilities include: chauffeur, social director, scheduler, advocate, and manager.

 Time requirements:

• 24 hours a day, seven days a week until the child can make it on his/her own, minimum of 18 years and counting.

• No vacation time

• No sick leave

• Time off only when a suitable substitute has been found

Qualifications include:

• Sense of humor

• High self-esteem

• Selflessness

• Emotional maturity

• Financial security

• Dependable support system

• Energetic, trust in judgment

• General understanding of the needs of children

• Diplomatic

• Consistent

• Dependable

• Loving

• Able to make an 18+ year commitment

 Benefits:

• Unconditional love of a child

• The knowledge that you are guiding a child to become a healthy, happy, productive member of society

 Compensation:

• Love

• Satisfaction of a job well-done

If you only have a few months to live

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

If you were told you only had a few months to live, how would your kids remember you?

I know this may spark an issue with a few of you out there, but I continue to see this over and over in my business, Working Moms and lost kids. I strongly feel the American family is broken. We have more kids in trouble at ridiculously early ages. Screaming for attention? Screaming to be heard? Pregnant at 12, in jail for murder at 8? Come on people, there is a reason here! It is US! OUR FAULT! They have no direction. Families need at least two incomes to survive. Kids are left to wander streets or watch bad TV and music videos and this becomes their compass.

It is time we all realize ADD, ADHD, emotional problems, anger issues can all be reduced if we just go back and make the decision to raise our own kids. Be home. Give structure. Give discipline. Cook dinner. Eat together. Discuss dreams, values and goals together. Sounds a bit like the 50’s again doesn’t  it?

I am a career consultant. I work with a lot of women that have made the decision to have kids and then need to go back to work ASAP to survive. Because of this, our kids are suffering. In the end, our society will pay a price that was unimaginable just a few years ago.

Consider this; your leaders in a few short years are the kids that have grown up and been raised by MTV, vampire movies, violent video games and terror. They have been eating fast food, a majority of them are overweight, suffer from ADD, ADHD, anger issues and emotional problems due to lack of self esteem and bad diets.

Come on ladies:

If you are going to get pregnant, and give birth to a tiny little person, you had better make the commitment to honor them and raise them. Because if you screw that up, it will follow you forever! I know. I worked and was a single mom for a good portion of my daughter’s young life. She is 25 years old today and has no direction. I spent most of my time struggling and trying to be the best young talent executive instead of the best Mommy. Now, at 43 years old, I see the damage my chaos caused. I see the repercussions every day in my daughter’s life. Her inability to reason and her entitlement issues are a constant concern.

So, how do we fix it?

Ages 0-3.  This is a vital time for Mom to be home. If you must work outside of the home, do it after the child is 3 years of age. Then, be sure to have a structure that gives your child safety and consistency. Be predictable to your kids. Most importantly, be accountable. Don’t disappear!

There are a number of ways for a working Mom or Parent to work and still be home and available to their kids. I work with a few great folks that have great ideas and I am sure that your kids will benefit. Here is one, Carrie Wilkerson, “The Barefoot Executive,” and President of the Association of Work at Home Women. Carrie and her network of experts have quickly become the definitive resource for helping others achieve extra income and career goals while working from home.  Currently a mentor/coach/advisor to over 100,000 men and women as the Barefoot Executive through videos, podcasts, masterminding, mentoring and live speaking. Not only a business expert, but an expert IN Business, Carrie’s work-at-home methods have inspired thousands and have earned many awards, online and off.

Now I know this is not the 50’s. And I know I have struck a chord with a few of you. I also know we live in a world that is demanding change. We must carve a new road ASAP. The one we are on is going to lead us to our demise. We can no longer afford to flail, or rely on big companies and employers. This is no longer our security. It is time to build our lives and our futures ourselves.  Create a future for our kids we can be proud of. Leave them a legacy and memories that don’t stop at X Box!

 

Negativity, Anger and Blame – oh my!

Wednesday, October 24th, 2012

Negativity, anger and blame will eat the mind, consume the future and eliminate friends and family.

Try this:

Choose love, honor, courage, grace and gratitude instead. Yep, that easy. Now go for it!

Let me know how this shift works out for you.

My Daughter and I Don’t Connect Anymore.

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

Are you concerned about your daughter’s self-esteem? Do you worry that she may not be happy? Has she shut down lately?Is communication getting more difficult? Are you wishing you still felt the connection with her as you did before she hit her tween/teen years?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions,  you are not alone…We have all worried about our girls.

The best way to  help our young girls is to help YOU. We as parents can be very hard on ourselves. We never feel like we have done enough. There simply isn’t enough time to fit it all in. One day we look up and our little girl is 13! Where did all the time go? Now we have damage control to look forward to…

Do these thoughts sound familiar?

“Why isn’t my daughter like hers, her daughter is always happy. She grabs the world by the tail. She gets good grades. Shes never in trouble. They have a great relationship. They do everything together. They can laugh, joke and shop without getting into it. What is going on with my daughter.”

As a mom, your personal mind set is your key – your magic wand…YES, I did write that. See, we all have mind chatter. Lots of it. Most of it we don’t even consciously realize that we are listening to it – constantly. What is yours saying?

Here is a list of sample sabotaging thoughts that have been randomly inhabiting your brains:

  • Sometimes, if you’re really honest with yourself, you may feel you are not “enough” as a parent.
  • You often use excuses, usually about time and money for not taking advantage of opportunities that are right in front of you.
  • You sometimes operate from a fear mentality.
  • You regularly focus on what’s lacking in your life, rather than on what you want.
  • You most always stop yourself in the “belief” process.
  • You allow fear of rejection and failure to get in the way of taking action.
  • You look at your existing situation instead of focusing on your dream.
  • Deep down, you may feel you don’t deserve abundance and success on a grand scale(whether you know this consciously or not)
  • You may be putting too much focus on the negative influence in your surroundings especially the news media or what others around you are saying.
  • You look at what others around you are doing to set your own benchmarks
  • You don’t listen to your intuition as much as you should.
  • You sometimes back away from uncomfortable situations that represent opportunities for growth
  • You aim way too low
  • You aren’t willing to speak the truth about your hidden behaviors
  • You numb yourself or stay too busy or scattered to fully receive your inner guidance
  • You don’t realize how your beliefs are creating your reality
  • You are afraid to take big risks
  • You are not clear enough on your own life purpose
  • You don’t always have enough confidence in yourself
  • You don’t take enough personal responsibility for your results, sometimes blaming certain circumstances or situations for what your don’t have yet
  • You’re afraid of investing in yourself for fear of losing money
  • You don’t always trust yourself to make the right decision, so no decision often feels like the better option.
  • You get frozen in your fears and stop taking action, even when the reward is right around the corner
  • You may be embarrassed or have shame about certain aspects of yourself or your life and that stops you from seeing yourself as being worthy of having it all and being a great parent.
  • You don’t believe in miracles, at least not long enough to let them into your life
  • You don’t fully believe you can actually achieve the massive success that others have
  • You believe in metaphysics but somehow have trouble manifesting the life you always wanted

If any of these seem to ring true to you and your feelings about yourself, I guarantee your daughter has picked up on it and she is rehashing it and putting it into her daily mind chatter to herself. STOP it before it’s too late! Only you have the power. Only you have the wand.

In the coming weeks I will be offering some great tools to get past these blocks and bringing you some amazing experts on this subject.

If this has been one of your true issues and you have any questions you would like to ask please feel free to email me personally at Kelly@Legacy4Kids.com. You will receive a response within 24 hours to your question from yours truly!

Believe in excellence and smile at yourself each morning. You are your kids treasure!

 

 

 

Pain, Sorrow and Gratitude

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

Over these past few days I have seen two innocent children taken from their parents at Yosemite National park in a tragedy beyond comprehension. I have watched one of my affiliates and mentors witness  her healthy, happy 20 year old daughter suffer two heart attacks last Friday for no apparent reason and then lose her last night.  I have stood by as one of my closest friends fight one of the biggest fights of her life after so many other life altering issues over the past three years. Ouch. Too much pain, too much sorrow.

While all of this peril is happening…I am being blessed by a grandson who is due to be born to my daughter Kasey any day now.

My angel Veyah is here by my side. She is my light and my joy.  I wake up and go to sleep so grateful for she, her birth mother/ my daughter Kasey,  a little half brother we will welcome any day now and her best friend Amanda by her side without pause. The situation is not perfect by any means, but I am reminded how blessed we all are and how much love there is in our world.

I must give back. I am compelled to spread my joy and drown out the pain in others.

I am reminded life is not supposed to be perfect or without complications. It is simply a gift learned and then returned to the next one in line.

Bless those who are experiencing unimaginable pain, anguish and loss. It is simply not fair at this moment in time.

YOU ARE HER MAGIC

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

From the moment we are born and through around fifth grade we consider our mothers be the most magical person in the universe. She can fix everything. She makes us feel better with a simple smile or graceful hug. She can say the simplest thing to make all the hurt go away. Her very smell or voice can change our attitude from tears to giggles. We cry when she leaves and anticipate her arrival.

Then…

One day we realize she isn’t what she said she was. NOPE, she is human like every other mother out there! She’s been lying! Now, you are angry and you question each thing she says…Why should I do that? What for? I don’t feel like it. Well, you said you would make it to my swim meet, but you didn’t! Why should I do what you say? Why should I believe that you will pick me up after school?  I’ll just go home with Sarah, her mom always picks her up on time.

No, I don’t want to cut my hair like that, I want to look like Sarah’s mom, not like you! I don’t want to wear that anymore, I want to wear…

Sound familiar? Yes, the day we as moms fall from grace. The day our little ones realize we are not super heroes, but just ordinary women. It’s a rough day, but a day we will all face in some way or another. No worries my dear, it won’t last forever.

So what do we a mom’s do to make this easier. How do we stoop it? Well, there are a few ways:

  1. When she is small, admit when you have made a mistake. Own up to it and appoligize for the blunder. This shows her early on you are human and still lovable.
  2. When someone else makes a mistake talk about it and how it could have been done better or with less chaos or …
  3. When she fails at something or forgets to do something, simply remind her that we all make mistakes, you still love her and you expect her to do better next time.

With these few rules, she will feel trust for you from the very beginning. Communication is still the key ingredient to ensure a less chaotic teenager/parent relationship.

One day your precious little girl will again come back, hopefully before she makes you a grandmother. This is usually the shoe in. Once she is a mother herself, she will finally understand your message and your story.

Make way for this transition, and do not take it personal. It will happen to some degree. Be strong, be calm and most of all give yourself a big hug. Your princess is NORMAL and you are a good mom.

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An Introduction to our radio show "Parenting Your Pregnant Teen"

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

 

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