Posts Tagged ‘career’

THE MYTH OF ENTITLEMENT

Monday, August 16th, 2010

One of the biggest myths in our culture today is that we are led to believe we are entitled to a great life.  Somehow, somewhere, someone else is responsible for filling our lives with happiness, our dream career, a wonderful family, and happy personal relationships… simply because we exist.  But the truth is that only one person is responsible for the quality of the life you live.  That person is you.

If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for absolutely everything that you experience in your life. This includes your achievements and failures, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health, your finances, your feelings, your kids—absolutely everything!

This can be hard to accept for most of us.  In fact, most of us have been conditioned to blame something other than ourselves for the parts of our life that doesn’t work. We blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, the media, our coworkers, our clients, our spouse, the weather, the economy, our astrological chart, our lack of money. We never want to look at where the real problem is—ourselves.  Next time you are out in public, listen to people, your friends, your family, yourself…you will be amazed at how much blaming is going on. It’s disgusting.

To achieve any measure of success in life—to achieve those things that are most important to you—you must assume 100% responsibility for your life. Nothing less will do.  You cannot move forward in your life and be successful if you are blaming others for your life.  You can’t be successful and make excuses at the same time…it’s impossible!  Change your life, change the outcome!  Live your life now with Love, Honor, Courage and Grace. Be the change! Show others how it is done! Make a difference in a child’s world.

If you were told you only had a few months to live, how would your kids remember you?

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

I know this may spark an issue with a few of you out there, but I continue to see this over and over in my business, Working Moms and lost kids. I strongly feel the American family is broken. We have more kids in trouble at ridiculously early ages. Screaming for attention? Screaming to be heard? Pregnant at 12, in jail for murder at 8? Come on people, there is a reason here! It is US! OUR FAULT! They have no direction. Families need at least two incomes to survive. Kids are left to wander streets or watch bad TV and music videos and this becomes their compass.

It is time we all realize the ADD, ADHD, emotional problems, anger issues can all be reduced if we just go back and make the decision to raise our own kids. Be home. Give structure. Give discipline. Cook dinner. Eat together. Discuss dreams, values and goals together. Sounds a bit like the 50’s again doesn’t  it?

I am a career consultant. I work with a lot of women that have made the decision to have kids and then need to go back to work ASAP to survive. Because of this, our kids are suffering. In the end, our society will pay a price that was unimaginable just a few years ago.

Consider this; your leaders in a few short years are the kids that have grown up and been raised by MTV, Vampire movies, Violent video games and terror. They have been eating fast food, a majority of them are overweight, suffer from ADD, ADHD, anger issues and emotional problems due to lack of self esteem and bad diets. 

Come on ladies: If you are going to get pregnant, and give birth to a tiny little person, you had better make the commitment to honor them and raise them. Because if you screw that up, it will follow you forever! I know. I worked and was a single mom for a good portion of my daughter’s young life. She is 25 years old today and has no direction. I spent most of my time struggling and trying to be the best young talent executive instead of the best Mommy. Now, at 43 years old, I see the damage my chaos caused. I see the repercussions every day in my daughter’s life. Her inability to reason and her entitlement issues are a constant concern.

So, how do we fix it?

Ages 0-3.  This is a vital time for Mom to be home. If you must work outside of the home, do it after the child is 3 years of age. Then, be sure to have a structure that gives your child safety and consistency. Be predictable to your kids. Most importantly, be accountable. Don’t disappear!

There are a number of ways for a working Mom or Parent to work and still be home and available to her kids. I work with a few great folks that have great ideas and I am sure that your kids will benefit. Here is one, Carrie Wilkerson, “The Barefoot Executive,” and President of the Association of Work at Home Women, Carrie and her network of experts have quickly become the definitive resource for helping others achieve extra income and career goals while working from home.  Currently a mentor/coach/advisor to over 100,000 men and women as the Barefoot Executive through videos, podcasts, masterminding, mentoring and live speaking. Not only a business expert, but an expert IN Business, Carrie’s work-at-home methods have inspired thousands and have earned many awards, online and off.

Now I know this is not the 50’s. And I know I have struck a chord with a few of you. I also know we live in a world that is demanding change. We must carve a new road ASAP. The one we are on is going to lead us to our demise. We can no longer afford to flail, or rely on big companies and employers. This is no longer our security. It is time to build our lives and our futures ourselves.  Create a future for our kids we can be proud of. Leave them a legacy and memories that don’t stop at X Box!

If you were told you only had a few months to live, how would your kids remember you?