Posts Tagged ‘Change’

Mean Teens and the Magic Wand

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

I wasn't born to be mean!

Recently it seems that there are so many stories in the news about teens being blatantly disrespectful and cruel. Today I see that 3 teen boys bullied a woman on a school bus to tears and no one stepped in to help or to correct them. Now I read on facebook that 3 other teen boys threatened a man and his Service Dog on a golf course with a rifle and a knife…

Why is it that kids are so angry, rude and untrustworthy?

I have been working with teens and parents for quite some time now and I have to say that it is we that are at fault. YES, not the kids here. Kids are not born mean. Some parents just don’t take parenting seriously anymore. There is little or no accountability for these kids. Parents themselves must understand that kids do and act as they are taught. They mimic what they see. Now I am not saying the parents of these kids taught or told them to act this way, but what have these kids been surrounded with. Who are their peers? What are their parents like? What do they watch on TV? What are they seeing on the computer? What the hell are the parents watching. This reality TV has become our worst nightmare. It is JUNK! Nothing inspiring just plain foul!

I hear people complaining constantly about how terrible kids are today…WELL do something about it. Stop complaining. Make a difference. Whether you are a parent or not you live on this planet. You are a functioning adult. Step up. Be a mentor to a young person. Teach them respect by being respectful. Teach them gratitude by being grateful. Teach them love by being loving. They will learn these traits from the very moment they are born. Let’s stop complaining about life. If our kids know nothing of violence, hate, anger, mistrust and foul play…they will not behave the way these boys have.

CRAP in = CRAP out. Not too difficult to understand. Children develop a conscience by the time they are 7 years old. What have they seen, heard and lived through by this time?  Trying to change it after 7 years old is difficult but not impossible. But it is so much easier to be a kind and loving adult who is responsible for your own actions. Live your life being grateful…If each one of us makes a choice to do this each and every day the kids around us may just follow suit.

Turn off the news. Turn off the negative programs. They are programming our kids as well as you! Be aware of who your kids are spending time with. What are they seeing on the computer…Who is it they follow? Break the spell.

Dream about possibilities. Allow your children to dream big. Give them an option to tell you each day about a wish they have.   Applaud them. Give them hope. Happiness is a choice. It is your choice. Show them that happiness and respect is a magic wand and they have the power to use it.

The Boyfriend

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

 

 

One of the most common calls I get is from a parent concerned her daughter is spending too much time with her boyfriend…”I keep telling her to spread out her time with her friends and school, but she ignores me.”

You know the scenario, your tween daughter comes to the breakfast table one morning and your realize that she has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by this, this ‘woman’.

When did it happen? Where was I? Oh my gosh, by little princess is now a TEEN and she looks 20!

Yep, and she has her own identity and it’s not the one you gave her, It’s her version! What now?

She doesn’t seem to hang on your every word anymore and she has her own opinion, her own agenda, her own friends (not from one of the play dates you set up) and now a BOYFRIEND!

Oh, and this guy is special. When he calls or texts your see a flash of light leave the room where your daughter once was…She is suddenly so focused on his need or request. (don’t you wish she was that focused on her homework)? You might not see her for hours. What do they talk about for so long?

No time for lunch with mom or a trip to the mall, she is too busy on the phone or on chat with him.  Or running out to meet him.  But the question is where? Doing what? With whom and why so often? What about school? What about dinnertime? What about family night?  Where is she?

She used to love Mexican food, now she “hates” it. She won’t wear that cute outfit you two bought together anymore. She starts dressing different…not necessarily bad, just different…She is now watching different TV shows and she is using a different language. I don’t know what the hell she is talking about!

Your question: How do I get my daughter back?

My Answer: You don’t. You get a new version, and new and improved one.  (kinda like the Microsoft updates, you can try to keep it as is, but it won’t work for long  and if you do it will cause chaos). Get used to it!

How do YOU feel about this?

Well, if you are like most parents you are yearning to have your little angel back.

You don’t know how to start a conversation without it turning into an argument. You  want avoid confrontation but you have so many questions:

Where are you going?

When will you be home?

Who are you going with?

Him again? Didn’t you just see him yesterday?

Are you having SEX?

Are you using protection?

What do his parents do?

What do they think about you two spending so much time together?

Do they think you are having SEX?

How do I get through to her I just want to protect her? Why isn’t she listening to me? What should I do?

We can help, just give us a call toll free at 877.768.4064 or visit our website at www.Legacy4Kids.org. We have many tips and information to make it easier for you as a parent.

And remember, you are the not the only one that says…

“I don’t think they are having sex but…”

First of all, as my girlfriend and trusted colleague puts it, “If your ‘uh oh’ meter is up…chances are so is something else…” You got the picture right?

What is the next step? How do you bridge this gap?

Call us.

 

 

THE BENEFITS OF COACHING OR COUNSELING FOR A PREGNANT TEEN

Monday, May 30th, 2011

Working Together

It helps to have an objective person guide you and your family through your decision-making process. Sometimes, when we have difficult choices to make, we’d like to avoid the subject. Many times it takes another person to force us to look at the important issues.

Here at Legacy 4 Kids we are specially trained to assist you in making arrangements for your best possible care and to help you prepare for your future. We are unbiased and we do not have an agenda.

At Legacy 4 Kids you will find people who care about your well-being and that of your baby. We are called counselors, coaches, mentors or advocates. Your chats with one of us will provide a way for you to talk through solutions. Out of care and concern, we will give you the opportunity to take a look at your situation and the changes you want to make for a happier future. A mentor or coach can also help you gauge your readiness for parenting. She can give you insight, provide a list of helpful resources and lend you moral support. Just as important, she can serve as a mediator between you and your parents, or between you and your baby’s father.

Depending on your needs, assistance can be provided for obtaining financial aid, medical care, prenatal and childbirth education and — if necessary — housing, maternity clothes and transportation.

It is also advisable that your parents are included in or get counseling as well. There are many excellent reasons why they should talk with an objective professional. A counselor can help to resolve negative feelings like guilt, anger, denial and frustration. She can also help them to be honest with you in terms of what you can and cannot expect from them.

Most parents are too close to the problem to be objective. Counseling can provide your mother and father with the tools to “back off” and allow you to come to your own decision. A trained professional could steer them toward letting go of some of the responsibility. She could assist your parents toward being alert to your needs, yet also help establish the fact that they are not responsible for the choice you make concerning the baby.

It may be hard for your parents to cope with their daughter’s growing up so quickly. If your mom has protected and sheltered you all her life, it’s going to be pretty hard for her to suddenly take off on a shopping trip with you to buy maternity clothes. But counseling can help her and your father work through the upset, confused feelings they may be experiencing.

If you or your parents would like to consider working with Legacy 4 Kids, please simply fill out the form on the about us page and and you can book an FREE no cost PRIVATE consultation. This is an offer to both you and your parents if you feel you would like them to be involved.

10 Ways to Cope with Change

Friday, January 28th, 2011

All change carries with it the risk of the unknown and the unexpected. Some find this exciting and welcome the challenge. Others go down the path of change reluctantly, dragging their heels all the way. But, as many a poet or songwriter has written, the only thing that’s permanent is change. Here are 10 ways to help you deal with it. 

 1. Understand your response to change. Do you tend to leap before you look or to imagine the worst? 

 2. Take responsibility for your reaction to change. You may not be able to control the events, but you can control your reaction to them.

 3. Keep other changes to a minimum. Coming to terms with major changes is physically and emotionally taxing. Conserve your energy.

 4. Look to others. Those who have undergone similar changes can serve as models for how you might better cope.

 5. Ask for help and support. Talk to reliable friends and/or outside professionals. This isn’t the time to “go it alone.”

 6. Let go of “the way things used to be.” Instead, move into “the way things are.”

 7. Choose your company carefully. You may need to avoid or reassure those who are threatened by your change.

 8. Be real. Both positive and negative changes can bring mixed feelings. Don’t deny them.

 9. Take a break from the situation. Rest, regroup and regain a sense of balance.

 10. Create your own rite of passage. Ceremony and ritual help with transitions.

THE MYTH OF ENTITLEMENT

Monday, August 16th, 2010

One of the biggest myths in our culture today is that we are led to believe we are entitled to a great life.  Somehow, somewhere, someone else is responsible for filling our lives with happiness, our dream career, a wonderful family, and happy personal relationships… simply because we exist.  But the truth is that only one person is responsible for the quality of the life you live.  That person is you.

If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for absolutely everything that you experience in your life. This includes your achievements and failures, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health, your finances, your feelings, your kids—absolutely everything!

This can be hard to accept for most of us.  In fact, most of us have been conditioned to blame something other than ourselves for the parts of our life that doesn’t work. We blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, the media, our coworkers, our clients, our spouse, the weather, the economy, our astrological chart, our lack of money. We never want to look at where the real problem is—ourselves.  Next time you are out in public, listen to people, your friends, your family, yourself…you will be amazed at how much blaming is going on. It’s disgusting.

To achieve any measure of success in life—to achieve those things that are most important to you—you must assume 100% responsibility for your life. Nothing less will do.  You cannot move forward in your life and be successful if you are blaming others for your life.  You can’t be successful and make excuses at the same time…it’s impossible!  Change your life, change the outcome!  Live your life now with Love, Honor, Courage and Grace. Be the change! Show others how it is done! Make a difference in a child’s world.