Posts Tagged ‘sex’

The Boyfriend

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

 

 

One of the most common calls I get is from a parent concerned her daughter is spending too much time with her boyfriend…”I keep telling her to spread out her time with her friends and school, but she ignores me.”

You know the scenario, your tween daughter comes to the breakfast table one morning and your realize that she has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by this, this ‘woman’.

When did it happen? Where was I? Oh my gosh, by little princess is now a TEEN and she looks 20!

Yep, and she has her own identity and it’s not the one you gave her, It’s her version! What now?

She doesn’t seem to hang on your every word anymore and she has her own opinion, her own agenda, her own friends (not from one of the play dates you set up) and now a BOYFRIEND!

Oh, and this guy is special. When he calls or texts your see a flash of light leave the room where your daughter once was…She is suddenly so focused on his need or request. (don’t you wish she was that focused on her homework)? You might not see her for hours. What do they talk about for so long?

No time for lunch with mom or a trip to the mall, she is too busy on the phone or on chat with him.  Or running out to meet him.  But the question is where? Doing what? With whom and why so often? What about school? What about dinnertime? What about family night?  Where is she?

She used to love Mexican food, now she “hates” it. She won’t wear that cute outfit you two bought together anymore. She starts dressing different…not necessarily bad, just different…She is now watching different TV shows and she is using a different language. I don’t know what the hell she is talking about!

Your question: How do I get my daughter back?

My Answer: You don’t. You get a new version, and new and improved one.  (kinda like the Microsoft updates, you can try to keep it as is, but it won’t work for long  and if you do it will cause chaos). Get used to it!

How do YOU feel about this?

Well, if you are like most parents you are yearning to have your little angel back.

You don’t know how to start a conversation without it turning into an argument. You  want avoid confrontation but you have so many questions:

Where are you going?

When will you be home?

Who are you going with?

Him again? Didn’t you just see him yesterday?

Are you having SEX?

Are you using protection?

What do his parents do?

What do they think about you two spending so much time together?

Do they think you are having SEX?

How do I get through to her I just want to protect her? Why isn’t she listening to me? What should I do?

We can help, just give us a call toll free at 877.768.4064 or visit our website at www.Legacy4Kids.org. We have many tips and information to make it easier for you as a parent.

And remember, you are the not the only one that says…

“I don’t think they are having sex but…”

First of all, as my girlfriend and trusted colleague puts it, “If your ‘uh oh’ meter is up…chances are so is something else…” You got the picture right?

What is the next step? How do you bridge this gap?

Call us.

 

 

Talking With Your Kids

Monday, March 28th, 2011

Certainly we knew there’d come the time for the “big talk,” but who knew we’d be struggling with how to talk to our children about drugs and AIDS, pregnancy and gay relationships, guns and violence at school, and kids who kill other kids.

The world we live in has grown more complex and the media, including the Internet, has swung wide the doors to information and misinformation. Talking with our children about difficult and often disturbing issues has never been more critical.

Here are a few tips to make it easier.

  • It is never too soon to start. Kids are hearing about issues at an earlier age.
  • Don’t wait for them to ask. Just because they haven’t asked about something doesn’t mean they don’t want or need information.
  • Tackle subjects even if you’re uncomfortable. Set aside your own feelings and initiate dialogue.
  • Be open and encouraging. Create an environment in which any question can be asked at any time.
  • Be clear about your values. Children want and need moral guidelines from their parents.
  • Don’t just talk, listen. You’ll get information about how to approach an issue while building your child’s self-esteem.
  • Be straightforward and honest. You don’t have to give all the details, but you do need to be honest.
  • Take time, be patient. Unlike lunch, digesting new information can take time.
  • Don’t wait for the “right time.” Be ready when opportunities arise. Daily life presents many openings for even a short dialogue.
  • Keep talking. Information given in small doses over a period of time is the best way to have that “big talk.”